Larry sounds like a rather odd but possibly amusing person.

Mary Sue is...different.

My favorite thing about the chapter is that it's in regular formatting. "Iluvatar created Middle-earth. The Silmarillion says so." Like. "preferably a sack apiece, in order that Merry might be mailed directly to Buckland and Pippin mailed directly to Tuckborough, thereby saving on shipping expenses" How thrifty. "Gimli leapt to his booted feet with a dwarf's typical haste. (And here you thought the only reason why Ents disliked dwarves was because they carried axes." Heh, nice one. "(father of Gimli, brother of Oin (currently a decomposing corpse in Moria (Khazad-dum)))" Morbid, but it made me laugh. More Hobbit references _.

"The sun itself seemed to withdraw from the sky – possibly disgusted at being involved in such a plethora of corny foreshadowing." Quite probably. 'Gorthaur the Cruel' that was an obscure name reference. "six seedcakes apiece, three boiled eggs, nine apples to be shared between the five of them, a bottle of ale, a bit of chicken, and a nice big wedge of cheese, not to mention a delectable meat-cheese-and-pepperoni-topped round flat loaf covered in tomato spread (an elven delicacy))." Pizza! I always loved the food descriptions, it's making me want to eat something. "...it must be said that Arwen had fabricated the 'prophecy' in order to remove Mary." Clever elf, even if it doesn't work right away it may eventually work out for the best.

"...an elven king, of whom the harpers sadly sing; the last whose realm was fair and free..." Ha ha! Quarter Elven, heh. Wouldn't she have been 3/4 elven though because her mom was full blooded? "What good were elven reflexes if they didn't even let him speak first?" Heh. "Frodo considered smacking her upside the head, but abandoned the idea as a Thing that Bagginses Wouldn't Do." Shucks, I thought we were going to get somewhere for a moment. "This from a DWARF? Three words, Gimli. Thingol. Silmaril. Nauglamír." Ooo, histroical support. And it is made crystal clear how blessed we are that LotR was written by Tolkien and not one of the 'popular' authors.

"Bilbo Baggins (Barrel-Rider) and Frodo Baggins (of the Nine Fingers (Please not the skillful foreshadowing))" EVERYONE has a title. "...a stout little fellow with red cheeks; taller than some, fairer than most" Heh heh, I love that description. "..who drowned in the Brandywine River with his wife (apparently he pushed her in and she pulled him in after her. Sad" Ha! "he added, sneaking another proud and stern glance at Mary." Everyone is going to become enthralled with her aren't they? I like Larry Stu.

"Stout of heart (though not of figure)" Haha. "With swiftness rivaled only by that of Shadowfax, Chief of the Mearas (lords of horses), property of Gandalf (Wizards Inc., Limited)" You're asides are a scream. "Query: how could a bunch of noisy orcs catch a *wood-elf*in a *forest*?" Yeah, ? "Perhaps we should mention at this point that the power that had catapulted Mary through space, time, and reality in 0.06 seconds had not only turned her into an elf and endowed her with incredible fighting skills but also permitted her to both understand and speak elvish." How convenient. "Last time we wood-elves took his advice, we ended up camped on the muddy shores of some cold lake up north surrounded by a bunch of surly humans and dragons and had to fight some battle with half-a-million dwarves and goblins running around." Yeah, kind of wonder what Legolas thought of that whole thing. "elves have to have undying love, since they are, after all, immortal" Heh.

"Mary strode assured in her assurance while Legolas cast wistful sideways glances at the fairest elf maiden since Luthien Tinuviel." 'Cause Legolas was just the type to fall for a pretty face :P. "Far away, a Gondorian captain brooded on a river-bank on the iniquities of Rohan horses that could not even keep afoot in a river. He should have let Faramir come instead." Ironic chuckle. "Far away, a long-legged Ranger sat in a tree throwing apples at a surly fellow called Bill Ferny.

"Longshanks" indeed!" HA! "Far away, Gandalf the Grey strode the pinnacle of Orthanc, fretting at the stupidity of Radagast the Brown and the nasty right hook of Saruman the No-Longer-White. Why didn't that eagle hurry up? And they called him "Windlord!" Heh heh. "Far away, three hobbits, replete with an excellent supper, pushed their chairs back cheerfully and

left the washing-up for Lobelia." Leaving the cleaning up for Lobelia always struck me as slightly maliciously humorous.

"elves only existed in Middle-earth" Obviously, every other places only has 'elfs'.

This is brilliantly funny. I really enjoyed it. The fight scenes were absolutely insane. How *do* you do it? I love the way you natter on about things that seem inconsequential but really are not. It has to be so much fun to write.

By the by, the vessel of the Sun, according to the Silmarillion, is actually guided by a female Maiar named Arien advertised as "a naked flame, terrible in the fullness of her splendor". So when you refer to the Sun as "he", I don't suppose she'd be altogether pleased. I should also mention that it is Arwen Undomiel, not Arwen Tinuviel. Tinuviel belonged to Luthien.

As another side note, it would be a Good Thing to Do to let you know that Mary Sues make me queasy, not to mention that they give me adrenaline rushes and force all available sporks to my hands.

This is really good! Mary Sue is stupid and I almost pity every male she comes in contact with. _ Be sure to update soon! ;D

*screams* YOU LEFT PIPPIN OUT? You. Left. Pippin. OUT? *lets out Nazgul shriek*

SHE. DIES.

Please, please, please, please come up with some way to kill her off as gruesomely and with the most poetic justice as possible. PLEASE. Or I may just rip your head off. Even though this is a parody. I don't care. Heads will ROLL if hers doesn't.

...sorry. Rabid Pippin fan here. Great, hilarious parody. I just want to see her DEAD.

I like this. But I'm confused at the end about who exactly is where. Isn't Gandalf still free at this point? I haven't read the books in a long time, so I don't know.

Suggestion: Watch grammar and puntuation, and especially, beware repetition.

That was funny! I enjoyed reading that! Keep it up and pleasepl,ease update soon! Its good! Well gtg! By the way... could you make Legolus a little less love struck... Im all for the Mary Legolus but hes making a damn fool of him self! Well I have to go!
Ja ne
Silvervail

Please continue this! I found it yesterday and really like it! It's great! Please continue!

I'm lovin' this story! Keep goin' with it! You're doin' a great job! It's REALLY funny!

hahaha good job- you've really captured the essence of Mary Sue *snork* update soon!

I love this. You must go on.

I *LOVE* this! The writing style is brilliant. Something about how it moves along, being funny and witty and proper all at once. it's a pure delight to read. I've got a steady giggle going, reading along, and shall eagerly continue to the next part. You know the books well, don't you?