oh. my. god. please keep writing.

I LOVED that twist about Billy's dad! Awesome! Update soon!

Well, first off, with the good. You have a great twist here. It's a great direction towards a reasonable addition to the original story. The plot concept is down right solid.

That said, there are a lot of weak points. These are probably most notable because this reads like a sequel story, not fling one shot (at least in scope). The point is, it immediately is put up against the original which is of course difficult.

Most notably is the characters are a bit off. Others have mentioned some things, but I'll put it together. Maddie is... well, she seems a bit slipped back. Chad doesn't seem to have his awkward charm. I don't think he'd drive a Porsche. I realize he probably has some money, but that is a bit much. I think it is more likely that he has a sports car like a Camaro or possibly a Corvette. A BMW is also possible, as it is a nice, stylish and practical. They also come in quite a range, so it would be easy to find a fitting one.

I also feel like the PDA is a bit much. Her butterflies is nice... and sure a little bit of the stuff when they were at his place was nice. But him texting her during school... I dunno, seems out of character. Maybe I'm just old, but that sounds like a much more desperate situation to me.

This is of course intended to be constructive and I do hope you continue. I also hope you might consider coming back and editing things a bit. Your core story is good, you just need to adjust some things.

I've read both of the chapters over a couple times,and I'm not here to bash your story,which is really nicely written,I'm just going to offer you some constructive criticism or at least something close to it..

First off,the way you portrayed the characters in this fan-fic was terribly out of character,at least it my opinion. I don't know if anybody else agrees with me,but they should.

Second,there was just something about this fan-fic that made me not like it from the very first sentence.

I may seem harsh,but if you do ever come back,it would be great if you tried to rewrite this.

Please update?

ok, i love this. but it's sad that you haven't posted in almost a year. Then I read your reviews and I saw why. I admit, just earlier today I got my first mean review and I cried. I wanted to delete my story. But they're just TROLLS. I made a mistake and actually believed them. Haters review anonymously so you can't pin point who they are because they're too scared. And don't listen to those assholes. They can't spot REAL TALENT even when it's handed to them on a silver platter. I'm sorry if you cried. I'm sorry if you won't update because you fear of being targeted again. But they are just some low life LOSERS that spend their lives making other people feel like crap. I know you're stronger then them. You're better then them. Please update! Don't listen to those haters!

-Simone

aww I like your fic, there are just two chapters but it is good, and you used my name in the story D so I like it so much more! xDD, well keep doing it, I want to read the next chapter...

ohh and... I love chad! . that is it xDDD amm... bye then :B...

awesome! cnt wait for more

With a bit offense intended, i would just like to say i highly dislike this story, im not even going to finish the second chapter. This isn't a enjoyable story, lets see i didn't like the teenage angst too much of it, also the boyfriend Chad? too gushy its disgusting the way you make those two interact, too much PDA. Also to me it seems like the character maddy is in high school right? Her boyfriend Chad has an electric blue Porsche which is ridculous, sure its undrstandable if he's snotty and rich, but you don't portray him like that, you portray him as a guy that just wants to get into a girls pants. Cheers, hope this helped :) good luck

hey great story so far! please update when you can!

billy is such an idiot, so this chapter is perfect to be called betrayal. nice job

extremely unique. lovin' it. :D keep it up

oh wow! mega plot twist! update!

Wow didn't expect that to happen p.l.e.a.s.e update doon:)

OH MY GAWD! u have got to be kidding me!