Oh, just say it. You're giving up on the story.

Aw, how can you stop at such suspenseful moment?

Oh stealing another wizard's wand. How rude, heheh. _

This story is just so funny. _ I love it, although I do not care for the name Alan Walker...oh well.

Heheh, you have a cute personality. Your author note made me laugh. : )

I Like it. It sounds very interesting, and I am sure I will love reading it. _ It has time travel and dark!Harry-of course I'll love it!

:)

But now I'm sad that I can't read Vietnamese...QQ

Your chapters are much too short, and your plot is feeble at most, so far.

You know the fact that Alan is a child is a good thing!He can do accidental magic for example throw Voldie into the wall, you don't want him to know that Alan is magical just yet,you can make him believe that in desperation Lily managed to use wandless all I doubt Lily will correct him in this Dumbledore and Aurors are not that far awayPlease update soon*puppy eyes*

I'm going to pretty blunt in this review, even if I don't actually like being blunt.

Your grammar is shitty. It's not getting any better as you go through the story, if anything it gets worse. When you write speech you use speech marks.

For example:

"I like your room, Howard," Grace smiled.

It's not overly difficult; in fact, you used speech marks in Chapter four. But, for some reason, you didn't in the other chapters.

The chapters are also very short, which isn't winning you any points.

You often use the wrong tenses.

Example: 'maybe the pain will stopped'

It should be: maybe the pain will stop or maybe the pain will be stopped.

Your punctuation use isn't too bad, I've seen a lot worse, but there are some mistakes there. Your incessant use of - is quite odd.

Also, what is with the name Alan. It seems a bit too random, most authors use a H name for Harry or something which means something either similar or meaningful. It's a tad unrealistic.

You put that it was ridiculous for Voldemort (a.k.a the red eyes man (wtf)) to attack Alan with his bare hands, when it's pretty ridiulous for Voldemort to do anything other than shoot an AK at him.

The point I'm trying to make is that there is absolutely no point for you to continue this god awful story unleess you either get a Beta or perhaps pay attention in English lessons. I can understand that you're not english, but if that's the case and you can't be bothered to learn English, write your story in you mother tongue and perhaps you'll have more success, because ten reviews is nothing to boast over.

IV

odd start of the story, but seems prommising! Subscribing! (I actualy have no idea where further you are taking the story, and I love that!)

Wonderful chapter!

A cliffhanger?

How could you! ;D

Please, uptade soon!

Huh, I like it. :3 I hope you'll update soon again.

And wow, you got hit in the face by a book? God, that's got to have hurt.. ''

Interesting...

Very interesting plot. Hmm... I'd love to beta-read your fic. :) Though this account of mine was not registered for more than five years, I assure you that I'm adequately experienced and more than knowledgable about beta-reading. I only made this account for me to start anew. )

With that said, I hope you consider my offer. GRIN

:: captured ::

Polaroid Fixation

p.s. HAHA. Yuck, I acually sounded VERY formal above. I'm not really like that... usually. smirk You can be as informal with me as you want. Hehe. Ushishishi XD

I'll beta-read if you still need one...