AERHGF This was really depressing ;A; I haven\t gotten around to reading the newer chapters yet, but hopefully they won't be as...depressing, lol

Anyway, as for your writing, I really like it. The only things where I think you could work for improvement is showing emotion to the reader, rather than just telling them "this is how WangZi or GuiGui/etc felt at the time". By doing that, you give your reader more freedom and interpretation, while still leading them through your story. For example, you describe a lot of the actions your characters do. "I screamed shrilly, I laughed bitterly, you pleaded shakily." Maybe you could cut those down a

tad and instead, show through GuiGui's actions, not what she says, how much she hurts because of WangZi and XiaoXun? Just my two cents.

Great story otherwise :]

i like this story though i'm kinda confused...but anyways i hope you update soon!

love your story!..

i hope you'll update really soon..

]