OMFGLMFAO! This is a good story kaiXhal ftw! x3 please continue on working on this story!

Seems good so far! I'm not entirely sure Kai would know Hal's double meaning though, or if Hal would actually be scared like that. Keep up the good work!

its not 'kia' its kai lol otherwise the story has potential so keep going.

Good! You make the characters who they really are! I think it's pretty good as long as you keep updating I will continue to read! :)

oh gosh i like how hal is all totjchy to kai! xD update soon

I must say that I like the concept here and it seems pretty interesting so far. Even with the fact that it's a touch OOC I still like this quite a bit.

On the other hand I noticed a few errors. The first being that I'm pretty positive that you mean 'Kai' instead of 'Kia.' Second off is that I reccomend using proper spacing to make this easier to read.

eg. "Fine, tell me your new address again." He said while grabbing his trusty lighter and cigarettes.

"Yay" Kia yelled happily.

instead of "Fine, tell me your new address again." He said while grabbing his trusty lighter and cigarettes. "Yay" Kia yelled happily.

Other than that their were a few spelling errors but that is relatively minor. Hope you can get those fixed, and I'm really looking forward to an update on this.