 SingingWrenn 4/11/10 . chapter 1I wish I went to your school where I could do a project on fanfiction! Lucky...
Not bad at all on the writing side! I would have liked a little more description of Ryou's emotional reaction to Bakura's answers, however. Just to be able to get inside his head and feel what he's feeling. I actually felt like I was understanding how Bakura was feeling better than Ryou, which is odd since the fic is from Ryou's perspective.
I really loved your description of the little details, such as the feel of the ring. Provides great atmosphere.
On the grammer/spelling side, you did a really great job. I only noticed one mistake ('"So you have been listening to me and not just whining like a crybaby." The spirit noted.' after crybaby it should be a comma, not a period) so that's always a nice bonus.
Nice job overall! Good luck on your project. |