Are you ever going to continue this? I really like the idea, although it would be great if you did some spacing on chapter 1, it was hard to read.

That's a really good start, it all sounds so unbelievably convincing. Just make sure you space it out a little bit because I lost my place a couple of times... But good job and I hope you update very soon.

loving it right now. I hope you update soon.

A good idea, so that it's easier to read for others, is to make line spaces inbetween paragraphs and dialog. I don't know if anyone has told you this yet. And you certainly have a good thing going here.

This is a great start to something good. Just need to have someone beta it to make the grammar correct. I hope you write more soon.

To be honest, it was ok. You need to space out your lines. It was too hard to follow.

Shyne

i like this idea for this story, but u need to make paragraughs instead of just one big paragraugh. It makes it ocnfusing to read. and it will also look longer if you space it out better. so please update soon

this is a good start i look forward to reading more.

i have one problem with this story. the words are all squashed together, you need to use paragraphs and lines. spread the sentances out so that its not all cramped together.

update soon please