hey hey hey

i wnt to knw wat happnd in da room
...
forget it (*_*)
*BULSHING* (O/O)
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.
.
.
.
.
BYE \(_)/

Sequel! Author-san! Sequel please!

Hehe, the last chapter was really funny. Generally, the fic's quite nice and I enjoyed reading it.

I have some complains though. Everything's happening too fast! You don't take the time to write slowly (especially in ch2), thus giving the reader a nice view of the characters' thoughts, feelings and actions. The POV changes really fast too. I think you'd better keep an eye on that from now on.

Ritsu's IC for me, though Mio's slightly OOC. Especially when they kissed for the first time (not to mention the description thingie again; you should've written more about that scene. It's a 'lovey' part, and such parts need to be written like... "step by step", with lots of description, getting from the outside to the inside gradually, and no rush).

Anyway, well, the story's not lame(as you said...-wrote?), but it could definitely be much better. I strongly believe that practice makes perfect, so you can still make it work :)

Keep it up!

-LenxRinKagamine

That was...cute.

Cute! Write more! :D

I say most of the chapters were rather rushed but the story played out well. I like the conflict between Ritsu and Mio and how confused Ritsu over Mio's behavior.
Good job
Although I hope you don't rush your future works like this.

Err... a word of advice. Don't ever use "Chat" in a fiction, unless handled properly and/or used sparingly. The ending chapter was absolutely not satisfying, and fairly rushed. Sort of like you just wanted to slap "Completed" on this fic and call it a day.

Ahh, good luck with any other stories you plan to write! I hope you don't get too discouraged with my blunt criticism.

WEll this chapter seemed kinda rush but pretty good

Eh i dont mean to sound bitchy or anything, but this chapter sucked... It didnt even feel part of the story, more like u just wanted to finish this story as fast as possible. Hmm the whole CHAT thing Did NOT work at all, it was even awkward with the whole *insert emotion* thing, i mean i DO write with those, but it was very confusing, specially knowing Mio wouldnt actually WRITE that she wa blushing XD Well i guess that's all... it was too rushed, an online confession is never the right idea, and well that's all i cna say i guess... But the chapters before this were good and enjoyable... so my problem was this ending _ Hope to read more Mitsu from u! just plz dont rush em .

this is good so far

realy like the angst here n Ritsu sure is emo in this ch but its ok it suit the situation shes in.

well i think that the kiss in the end rushed the things i was hoping for at least another angst ch like this

i dont know maybe its just me who feels that this kiss n the sudden confession were to fast.

anyway keep the hard work, i want a new ch now cant wait

Very nice chapter

When I was reading this chapter my mood was gloomy...but when I read the part where Mio said "Mommy, I mean Mother" I just can't help but crack up! LOL I think the last part is very cute

Oh and very nice omake

I'll be waiting for the next one

Wow this was great keeping writing

YOu ROCk!

Hehehehe Ritsu 3 Although i'd like Ritsu to be thinking "I just kissed her... and she screamed NODOKA's name O_O" XD Nice story, i dont like an emo Ritsu but it can happen! Hope the tackle didnt reveal Mio's panties XP

That was a bit bold of Ritsu y'know?

But I like it! XD

PLEASE UPDATE SOON! D

who!

I have a feeling that Mio already knew what she feels for Ritsu XD

PLEASE UPDATE SOON! D