Another great chapter! Ugh, poor Bella. James is very creepy and suspicious, I guess. Loving it!

Great start! I am loving this! :-)

James is creepy! e_e Poor Jasper - what is up with him? LOL

Can't wait for more! )

James is a certifiable creep-o P

Same as my review for The Only Exception

:)

AJ

As promised, I'm checking out your stories. ;)

This one looked promising! Why didn't you continue? It's a unique twist having James involved from the beginning and you've created a desire to know more. Write, girl, write!

Interesting prologue like to see where you take this.

Hugs

HEY THAT'S JAMES I DON'T LIKE JAMES.

.../cough

Uh. This is a very good premise, one that I'd be interested in reading more of. I liked how you made Bella seem a lot more like a teenager than an empty shell with no self-confidence whatsoever. I'd always thought that Bella would have to be more mature than she appears because of living with Renée. It's nice to see someone shares my opinion, ahahahaha.

However, I'd like to comment that, while I do like the style you wrote the story in and it captures the thinking processes and mindset of a teenager very well, you should be careful that writing a character like a teenager doesn't turn into writing like a teenager. Which isn't to say that teens can't write; I'm only 18 myself.

What I mean is that at times, the chapter got a little...scattered, I guess is a good word to describe it. It seemed like Bella's mind was in a thousand places at once and trying to do that and move the story along so quickly tends to make it feel kind of jerky. I do the same thing a lot, but again, it's just a comment.

This is definitely another story I'd like to see continued. Your ideas are really interesting, and if developed further they'd make some amazing stories.

- Besh

You should really add more chapters to this one. I loved the insight into her move. Loved it.

Heey, I love your Fic! Please add some more chapters!