|Reviews for Wasting Wishes|
| StrawberryPanicthedisco 6/19/10 . chapter 1
This is ADORABLE! nice job!
| IDespiseTragedy 5/7/10 . chapter 1
so touching... the best oofuri fanfic I've read so far; bravo!
| Rokutagrl 5/1/10 . chapter 1
...I kind of don't know what to say, so here's the best criticism I can come up with:
1.) At first I thought this was going to be a tell, rather than show, story. "I woke up, ate breakfast, and got dressed." I thought the beginning got too rushed...
Then I read the rest and I don't think you could have done it any other way. It was short, but I really liked the style! The use of bold, italics, and regular font was nicely done! I thought it was only for wishes that there would be bold font, but it didn't exactly turn out that way... But it was still good :D
2.) This is definitely dramatic, but personally I would also add in romance since you're adding the whole AbeMihashi to the end. More people read romance on this site than anything else, and sometimes just filter out all results save for that particular genre. Since you did add romance to the story, than you also wouldn't be lying (by the end it's also the main point).
3.) A story like this deserves more. Well, actually I think that's up to you. It's a great little oneshot...weird, serious, and has a beginning/middle/end structure that isn't seen so much with short stories. It also has a moral, or rather, even a plot (all encompassed). You could probably take the plot further, and I'm sure you'll get more reviews that ask for you to continue with this plot... I like it as it is, but I also feel this could have been a long story- but that also depends on:
Was it an actual genie? Stories that are simple, yet complicated are quite a treat- in the world and in fanfiction. I like to believe this is one of them now... That there wasn't really a genie, but rather using an old tale to show that Mihashi has "spent his wishes" before he even met Abe. In fact, all of it brought him to the catchers arms in the first place... but now there's no way in which to secure himself to this wish... Basically showing an idea in relation to "waste not; want not," or to that effect, I suppose... Maybe I'm over complicating it, but it's really nice to see this kind of story :)
So very sorry for the length and content! I think reviews tend to make or break one's career on ... most of us are slaves to our peers thoughts and opinions... I try to bring an honest opinion when I can, so please know that I mean it when I say: I think you can do quite well on this system! :D You seem to have already mastered the short pieces, so I'm rather curious to see how you would handle a longer project! I'm not talented, nor do have I any right to say... well, anything to anyone... but I figure if you see how much I've put into this review for such a short story, than you'll see that you're really not bad at all, and can only gain with practice... Not that I'm saying you're bad now... I'm horrible with words, so sorry D: But really, we can all only improve from where we are, and listening to our peers does have some benefit :D So if you ever feel inclined to write (especially Oofuri!) I would be delighted to see how far- and where- you take your writing!
Happy Writing, Cakes!