|Reviews for Spock's Farewell|
| Guest 6/19/12 . chapter 1
I sobbed like a baby when Spock died. That was years ago. I still sob when I watch or read about his death. I love him more than any one. I love his ears. Don't you?
| Guest 6/18/12 . chapter 6
Ooooooh naked Spocky.
| Guest 6/18/12 . chapter 4
Ok since Im in love with Spock in against the whole Uhura Spock thing. But I have to say is You Go Girl!
| Kittenn1011 12/27/10 . chapter 6
Very enjoyable. I hope you carry this all the way through to The Voyage Home. :)
| royalpinkdogs 11/7/10 . chapter 5
gee-it seems like I've seen this story unfold before.
wow-where was that?
Oh yeah-a coupla movies from the 1980's-called Star Trek II-The Wrath of Khan and Star Trek III -The Search for Spock.
odd that those story lines should turn up here...
| Escape my reality 11/6/10 . chapter 5
great chapter! loved the beginning especially
| anonymous 11/6/10 . chapter 5
Hooray! An update! I will anxiously be looking for chapter 6!
| Angeliss 8/29/10 . chapter 4
It's been a little long since I've seen the original movies, but this was the only fanbase I was familiar with, so this is the one I'm reviewing.
Just a general note- most authors I see with profiles as long as yours are most often the ones who write in texting lingo. You might want to cut out some of it, because I have the feeling you might be unfairly getting judged on that before they even open your stories.
Intriguing idea, first of all. I've always been attracted to "what if", and I find myself wondering... would Spock still have had to die with all the changes in their past? But that's another story, and though it would have been good to start there in a longer story, this was never intended to be a longer fic. I know how that goes.
There's a couple things I noticed. One, beware of the Nancy effect. Snarled, snapped, ordered... those are good words, but in too many places, and suddenly all you can see is how things are said. Not only that, but I don't think that all of them are what you want. Snarled is too strong for something said with a little bit of spite in it. Adding a bit of action to the words can make them a lot more meaningful. Ex. '"I don't give out my first name," she said, and moved past him to fold her other uniform into the sharp regulation form.'
And setting. Where is Nyota? Is she in her cabin? Until the closet is mentioned, I had no idea. In fact, with the closet, I still have no clue. Characters interacting with their setting helps cement a visual picture in your readers' minds.
One last thing. It's little, but it annoys me when I see it. When a character has a tag (like "she said") attached to a quote that ends with a complete sentence ("I like this fanfic") instead of a period, you put a comma. "I like this fanfic," she said.
Fully enjoyed this, and looking forward to more!
| sififantasygirl 6/26/10 . chapter 4
wow i'm tired...so i'm not going to nick-pick like i did last time, maybe in a week when i get home and i have more energy. But one thing i HAVE to say; never, never, like, never-in-a-million-years, NEVER say "i suck at summaries."
There's nothing that turns off a reader than that little sentence. For me, it's almost like putting K/S SLASH on the summary. I have RARELY read good FF's that have "i really suck at summaries" on the summary. Serious. It completely turns me off.
Yeah, that's the only thing i have to say for now. Expect a long review when i have time.
| Escape my reality 6/25/10 . chapter 4
ha! love how nyota handled the lieutenant:)
| Miss Fenway 6/25/10 . chapter 4
Oh hey there! So funny. Yesterday I was wondering if this was ever going to be updated. YAY! Another great chapter. I love sneaky Spock Prime. *hugs* UPDATE SOON!
| sififantasygirl 5/23/10 . chapter 3
Ok, since the last two times I reviewed, I was all like, "Good job!" I'm going to be really nit-picky because I think you guys deserve it. Ask Missi, she'll know what I mean when I say it's just like Shileah. The better you write, the more I can be nit-picky. It's a compliment.
"Kirk was now in his apartments with Sulu, Chekov and Uhura. Jim proposed a toast." Just a little thing, but you call him Kirk, the Jim in the next sentence. Nothing technically wrong, it just would flow more smoothly if you stuck to just one name, or even one name per paragraph.
""Sir," Uhura started
"Captain, what's going to happen to the Enterprise?" Sulu asked"
In, like, all of the ST FF's I've read, he likes to be called 'Jim' while on leave. I like that because I think it's shows his personality, he's not like other captins, and that he's a heck of alot more casual that other 'normal' captins.
"and the mindmeld began." I see, 'it began then it ended'. Nothing interesting happened in the mind meld. Not like it's unusual. Just something I do every day. WRONG! Have FUN writing it, this is unusual, it doesn't even happen in FF's too often, so play around with it.
"Kirk's eyes dropped a single tear." Seriously, this bugged me. Like, really really bugged me. I mean, how many times have you cried that you only cried ONE tear? You cry at LEAST two, because that's how eyes work, unless you're a cyclops, but we're not going there.
"Spock Prime watched again, as his friend spoke to his father." You talk about him watching, but you never mention WHERE he is
WHEN he is watching. I would like to know so that I can better visualize the story, as my writing teacher likes to say, 'paint a picture in the reader's mind'.
Ok, that's all I noticed the first time around. Hope that you learned something from that and I didn't just waste like half an hour.
| anonymous 5/22/10 . chapter 3
So excited to read more! Excellent job! I can't wait to read more!
| Escape my reality 5/22/10 . chapter 3
good chapter, loved the dialogue:)
| ryokocsi 5/22/10 . chapter 3
liking this, but it's Starfleet is up to it's brass in *galactic* conference I seem to recall, and wasn't Mount Seleya blown up in this universe? loving to sewe how you resolve that _
Sorry to be nitpicky