Painful to read. It had me breathless before . . . T_T

That was beautiful!

argh, i had a whole paragraph typed out before it disappeared. :

the jist of what i was going to say was, i like the way you put things into view. the story is short, but provocative. it personally involves the reader, even if only a little.

time to write more eh?

Even I'm not this cruel to my story-Jayden! Although he did die in the game... :/ XD

Seriously though, you are epic. Take up writing as a career.

Superb!

I hope I'm correct in presuming this refers to Norman's accidental overdose/possible suicide ending which occurs if Shaun dies - which makes this piece all the more poignant. ):

You swung terrifically from the blissful highs to the terrifying lows of Norm's addiction. Very dark, very sombre, and very evocative.

The only thing I want to say is that, for the summary of the fic, I suggest putting something other than the final sentences. They're so wonderfully climactic, and I found that having seen them already in the summary sort of weakened some of their emotional impact. Well, that's what I thought personally, but it does't have much to do with your actual writing. Heh.

Overall: mesmerising. I loved it. (: