|Reviews for A Game of Chess|
| Allie Danger 2/13/13 . chapter 1
A very enjoyable reading :-)
| Darkover 12/29/10 . chapter 1
This was a good story. The point of it seems to be that you can only make amends as best you can, and then you have to let it go. It also seems to indicate that Peter and Edmund now understand each other better. Not bad for such a brief tale! It would be helpful if you had a good beta reader, as you made a number of mistakes in punctuation. Also, you meant to use the word "conscience" instead of "conscious," the word you actually used. As "conscious" was correctly spelled, spell check did not catch it. Otherwise, this story was fine-short and sweet. Thanks for writing and posting it. Sincerely, Darkover
| peanutmeg 5/25/10 . chapter 1
Beautifully written! I love how you captured the relationship between Peter and Edmund, and I hope you will write more brotherfic in the future! There are far too few fics out there that focus on Peter and Edmund, so thanks again! :D:D
| Eavis 5/25/10 . chapter 1
Hah, nice. Love the brotherly love and interaction you've got going, and their speech is in keeping with canon, which is stunning.
Lion be with you,
| Rye-bread 5/21/10 . chapter 1
Seems kinda OOC for Tumnus. Rather, I picture him as he was in the Disney movie with Ed in Jadis' prison-looking past the offense and defying her.
-Unless-and I'm making it complicated-you follow up on unicorn-skydancer's suggestion in their review of "A Game of Chess" & do a sequel with Tumnus and Edmund-as they put it-a "long-overdue heart-to-heart talk". Above all else, I envision Tumnus as having a chivalrous protective attitude toward Lucy
-Just my thoughts
| Kittenn1011 5/20/10 . chapter 1
This is a nice, cute oneshot. I enjoyed it. That being said, I noticed a couple mistakes.
Firstly, it was in your summary itself.
"Peter and Edmund talk amongst a chess game..."
Your use of "amongst" is incorrect. "Amongst" pertains to groups, and more specifically, being part of a group.
"The conduct of the Faun toward Edmund had been noted by many, and frowned upon by Susan and I."
In this istance, it should be "me", not "I". The way to tell if you should say "I" or "me" is by taking the other person out of the sentence. Would you say "The conduct of the Faun toward Edmund had been noted by many, and frowned upon by I." No. You would say "The conduct of the Faun toward Edmund had been noted by many, and frowned upon by me." Therefore, it should be "Susan and me".
"He frowned in brief concentration before moving his horse with a decisive move, striking my knight from his spot."
The chess peices shaped like horses... those are the knights.
Also, I personally think that the story should have ended at "Check mate." Along with that, the title could have been more creative and eye catching. You could have called it something that hinted more at the conversation topic.
Besides that, it was cute and kept my attention. Good job! :)
| Queen Su 5/20/10 . chapter 1
Interesting oneshot... The perspective of Tumnus not forgiving Edmund is quite unique. The dialogue was well put together! :) Good job!
All for Aslan,
Queen Susan the Gentle
P.S. I thought the ending should have just been "Checkm mate." It think that would have been better.
| Shizuku Tsukishima749 5/19/10 . chapter 1
LOL. Loved the ending! Awesome job! XD Gosh, this was such a sweet oneshot! Loved it! *U* The chess moves between worked well to create a good flow! *U* Rock on!
| lightning bird 5/19/10 . chapter 1
Nicely done. You captured the characters very well and in just a handful of words, gave them years of development. I think I enjoyed it all the more for not being a huge fan of Tumnus.
| unicorn-skydancer08 5/19/10 . chapter 1
You should make a sequel to this, where Tumnus and Edmund have that long-overdue heart-to-heart talk. Just a very friendly suggestion.