| Reviews for Underground |
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wondergirl257 8/5/12 . chapter 1Thanks uncle Toby for granting us this smut rofl great story loved it |
FreekyDisaster18 9/24/11 . chapter 1I love the light comical ways you bring your smut stories to a close because it's most definitely them. This was extremely delicious to read and I'm glad the Gibbs/Fornell friendship was mentioned because I do love them two when they're together, they're so funny. I do believe your smut writing is perfection. |
beyondobsessed 8/16/10 . chapter 1hahaaaa the having to thank fornell...loved it |
alix33 6/17/10 . chapter 1"shedding the shawl covering her freckled shoulders in a fluid motion and leaving it hanging haphazardly on the banister." - Shawls and scarves, I do not get them. I try wearing them sometimes, then I end up looking an even worse mess than the ghost of Kate Todd said Abby was in "Kill Ari". "But the evening got boring, and hands started to get happy…" Her voice trailed away and a wicked smile appeared on her face as his shoulders tensed and his hands stopped moving for a fraction of a second. "So Fornell decided it was time to go." Gibbs' head finally rose at this, and he looked at her intensely, "He drop you off, Jen?" His eyes left her face for a moment as she walked down the last few steps, her soft curves straining under the tight black strapless dress she was wearing. "Mmhm…" Jenny murmured, slowly stepping closer to where he was standing, "And he looked out for me exactly like you asked him to, Jethro." There was a hint of annoyance in her tone, but mostly it had the sound of a good-natured reprimand, to which Gibbs replied with a non-committal grunt." - Annoyed? Jenny Shephard does not realise how flattered she should feel that Gibbs asked Fornell to do that, IMO. |
USAFChief 5/26/10 . chapter 1Okay, Marzia, now this one I like very much. *Smile* I have a couple of recommendations. 1. "...and there was no time for her to reply as his lips crashed on hers in a kiss..." I recommend you change this to "as his lips crushed hers..." When you say his lips crashed on hers, it almost sounds like an accident when two automobiles crash together, but his lips can crush hers just through his use of hands, head and lips. 2. "...flicking his tongue against her erected nipple before taking it into his mouth." should be "her erect nipple." and the reason is that it does not need to be erected (built up) but is already erect from the excitement. You are doing very, very well, my dear. Keep up the good work. Thank you for posting this. Paul |
SarahShalomDavid 5/25/10 . chapter 1Great Pairing Fabulous Writing Love how protective he is of her in the way that he asks someone to protect her when he cannot be there himself Very hot and steamy Loved every second of it It would be even better with a second chapter - Him thanking Fornell and maybe it could be revealed that Jen didn't return for the reason she said? But because she wanted Jethro? Just an idea Great Story I loved it |
pealee 5/24/10 . chapter 1Whew, that was hot hot hot! Very hmmmm...HOT! I tried to be more wordy then that but damn words weren't coming after that! :) |
GeekLoveFan 5/24/10 . chapter 1Yummy! I'm all for PWP, so no offense taken here. :) And by the way, I LOVED the line you used for your summary! |
MissJayne 5/24/10 . chapter 1Loved it! Not sure whether Fornell would be amusing or concerned if Gibbs thanked him... :P |
SeB48 5/23/10 . chapter 1 Wow! Now I could get off to that! Hot! |
DimplesGirl 5/23/10 . chapter 1 Smut was just what I needed. I loved it. Please write more soon... 3 |
madame.alexandra 5/23/10 . chapter 1Offensive? Smut? Those words should never be uttered, typed, written, or thought in the same sentence. Or maybe that's just my less-than-conservative opinion. Either way, I thought it was brilliant. I think you've got an admirable knack for writing smut that's damn good, hot, and yet not completely trashy and uninformed. If that even makes sense, coming from a high school student (being me, HA). -Alexandra |
MatteaAM 5/23/10 . chapter 1OMG, Marzia, /that/ was amazing! Okay, I didn't read it for the 3rd time, cause that would be just plain weird. LOL I'm so happy that you decided to post it here as well. You'll see people will love it! I'm tellin' ya, duhrling! M. |