|Reviews for Origins Written in Blood|
| Gaspode 10/25/11 . chapter 30
And meanwhile, in another part of the tower, Cullen is being raped by a demon Isthalla. This is indeed harrowing.
I admit I'm very curious as to the nature of Isthalla's 'spirit companion'. It certainly doesn't seem as benign as Wynne's but I'm not certain it's a demon. Then again, it could be a demon who gets a kick out of toying with her host, offering help one moment and then leaving Isthalla to her fate the next, hm...Maybe it's a ghost...
| Gaspode 9/26/11 . chapter 27
There are a lot of interesting little emotional twists appearing here. Alistair's concern for Isthalla as well as Morrigan's possible jealousy. I like them all, it thickens the plot nicely.
Alistair's concern could easily be written off as a natural reaction from somebody who's riddled with guilt over his actions and even though he doesn't get a long with his fellow Grey Warden, Alistair would still feel bad for succumbing to the demon like that and for hurting his companions.
Morrigan's feelings are different though and I must admit that I've always liked the idea of a relationship between her and Alistair. After all, as they say, love and hate are but two sides of the same coin and there's a lot of room for interesting character development there.
The introduction of these little jealousy twinges though, would feel a little bit more natural if there had been some indication earlier. What I mean is, Morrigan has paid Alistair very little attention in general, it's kind of beneath her to notice him except when he annoys her, and to go from there to little twinges of non hatred simply seems like a big step. Even having her once or so observing him and noting he's 'pleasing to the eye' but despicable all the same, or something like that, earlier in the story, might make her slight change of heart seem more natural.
I can see Alistair being fooled by a demon, who wouldn't, but I don't buy him so readily agreeing to the Rite of Annulment and I cannot see him as someone who believes mages aren't people.
I can see him being torn and guiltily thinking it might be for the best since it's suggested by Greagoir and Alistair is practically conditioned to believe in the infallibility of authority. However, all through the game he actually gives the impression of being somebody who's very broad minded when it comes to people, which is probably why he'd have made a terrible Templar. It's even said that Duncan recruits him, not for his fighting prowess but because of his easy going nature and acceptance of others.
To actually come out and say that mages aren't people speaks of a rigid narrow mindedness and lack of empathy that I can't associate with him at all. He's suspicious of Jowan for being a blood mage, after all Alistair spent ten years, half his life, being bombarded with Chantry values, but also he doesn't actually know Jowan and has no reason to trust him. All in all I think Alistair is simply too good natured for such harsh judgement of others (except when it comes to Morrigan).
Isthalla is, as always an intriguing character, not easy to like but refreshingly uncompromising and strong minded. I'm very curious to see how she reacts upon finding Cullen, not to mention what happens later, (yes, I have read your short stories).
It might help the reader if you title each changing POV with the name of the person. I normally don't mind having to do a bit of thinking when reading a story, I hate when writers assume the readers are idiots and explains everything, several times, but here I find that I spend the first paragraph or so fumbling and desperately trying to figure out who's currently telling the story and it distracts from actually reading it. Perhaps it's just me being thick though.
Despite my grumblings I'm enjoying the story and am looking forward to more.
| Vangran 8/1/11 . chapter 22
This story is really, really good. Keep on writing, bones! I want to know what happens next! Update when you can. _
| NesrineArseneBalthazarAnenome 7/27/11 . chapter 22
I really enjoyed to read this fiction. It was hard to translate this in french, but I'm glad. That's amazing. Hope for a twenty-three chapter ! :D
| ArcturasB 6/15/11 . chapter 21
I don't think it's wise to give her alcohol. I'm a little scared.
| ArcturasB 5/12/11 . chapter 17
I agree! She needs a hug, and possibly a drink too.
| Kiki Aries 5/12/11 . chapter 17
She needs a hug... A big one, and a good place to cry... and vent... yeah.
| Kiki Aries 5/6/11 . chapter 16
This delightful young lady reminds me of myself, defiant to the core, but I love how she lets her sweetness show just ever so slightly. I hope to have more to read soon.
| Gaspode 5/3/11 . chapter 15
I like this story, obviously since I wouldn't comment otherwise. It's well written and takes it's time to allow characters to develop and the story to unfold naturally. It's an interesting take on the events at the Circle tower and the OC. Isthalla is also an enjoyable character to read about, not easy to like but interesting. She's neither good nor evil but is, like the average person capable of both. Her attitude makes her abrasive but is understandable and I'm looking forward to see how she learns and evolves. I'm a fan of Cullen (as well as many other characters of the game) so I hope he'll turn up later in the story rather than being reduced to a footnote like in the game. However, if your story doesn't allow for that I'll go with it anyway, you're the writer after all.
I have one minor concern which might prove to be completely unfounded. It's obvious that Isthalla and Alistair wont get along all that easily but I hope that wont mean you're turning his character into a mindless idiot. I'm saying this since I've found that some writers allow their dislike of certain game characters to colour the characterisations in their stories so much that anybody they don't like gets turned into a cardboard cut out villain or a complete moron. It's a shame when other characters are well defined and feels real.
Finally, there's no need to keep apologising for the change of perspective, unless it's unclear, in which case you can always rectify it. Lots of writers do that and it's your prerogative as the writer, you're the boss.
| ArcturasB 4/22/11 . chapter 15
ahh This elf needs some fun in her life lol
thanks for updating, I am eager to see how well she fights.
| ArcturasB 4/5/11 . chapter 12
Awesome. I am glad that you are continuing to work on this story.
| interesting2125 6/25/10 . chapter 5
Dark mysteries at an unhurried pace? Sign me in! I hope you're planning on continuing this.
| Nithu 6/3/10 . chapter 2
A nice start, I'm looking forward to more :)