i like how you did the whole dream thing by making the sold line and the italics. and no id ont thing you're abusing the suspenion dots

if u were going for creepy in the preface u reached it for me. the fact that u used pronouns added to the affect )

Like the bathroom moment between Alma's encounter...but let's not make this too corny and too fast pace, because we don't want the moment to have Point-man recognize how close his family really is...yet...until the "Extraction" event.

Overall this was well done...Making point man sounding like he's just a regular guy...

Nice novelization. Can't wait for interval 3. And thnks for reviewing Dancing Norton Mapes.

You know...I'd like to see some "Awww.." and "Creepy" moments togather Between Alma and Pointman, I'm pretty sure that will increase the tense of the story and prevent dull, bland moments. I'm pretty sure your creative, but don't stray from the story, and you don't have to copy every scene from the gameplay. But, keep it up, I hope to see more of Alma and PM encounters...

I just hate it when I'm the only the one that review but the story is good, I like scary part like weird thing happened like the one in the game but you're the writer and i'm not, still, good story, good luck with the next few chapters. )

The story is great! I like to read more of chapter, Kept up the good work! )