|Reviews for A New Life|
| vipervet 10/21/10 . chapter 1
It is a good story but you are still jumping around a little. wright a outline on another pice of paper and jot all your thought into the apropriat areas. the stroy is like you are trying to make shure all the ideas get out before you forget them. you need to settle down and take your time on parts. alow the story to build on its own. it seems like you put so much into one tiney spot. Go into a little more detail. dont just say what your thinking but describe it and put the sene in with it. It has a good start and outline but you need to clean it up. Look forward to seeing more.