This story is rather interesting however, there are a few grammar errors, but mostly in the first chapter, such as using a word awkwardly in the context ie "cracked up wildly". The grammar in that phrase itself is fine, but I feel there are other words that you could replace " cracked up" with to give the story a better overall flow. Perhaps you could say "cackled" or some other variation of that as "cracked up" seems very informal. I have a question, in this chapter, someone named Sophia was mentioned and I do not think you ever gave her an introduction. Overall the story is good, the plot is moving along nicely and I look forward to reading the rest.

all righty, first of all, i'd like to say thaaaanks! your the first reviewer!

ok, so in answer to your first review, the quote that you included goes on to say, "But then Danny's blood went cold as the 'human' turned and smiled a huge grin, revealing the betraying fangs of a vampire."

right? so, the elf was cheering on the vampire; the vampire was the one tossing the dagger. does that answer the question? sorry for the confusion.

as for your second review, sorry for the commas. i know i have a problem with that. (i'm trying to make shorter sentences, but it's sooo hard!) unless you are talking about semi-colons which are these - ; is that what bothers you, for those are supposed to connect a couple short sentences together. i recall when you said something about that in Ms. B's class about one of my essays.

all right, then, thanks again, and enjoy the rest of the story! feel free to ask any other question that comes to mind as you read!

So, ya. Here I am again. I would like to point out that this new beginning is pretty amazing. There was only one thing that bugged me. I think you have to many comas, like you're trying to combine three sentences into one. I don't know. That's just my opinion. I don't really like a ton of comas when I read awesome stories like this. But I still really really love it!

So, this one part really confused me and I couldn't figure it out:

"He looked another way, and saw an elf cheering as what appeared to be a human was able to toss a dagger right smack in the middle of a target about twenty feet away."

Did you mean to say "who was able to toss a dagger" cause that would have made a little more sense.