What a beautiful chapter. The last line was perfect. ;-)

You skill with words and ability to create fresh takes on old situations continues to impress me. So often in Zorro fanfiction, it’s Diego who questions whether a woman loves him or his alter-ego. It was surprising when Lolita voiced this concern. That she would worry so much over whether Diego knew that she genuinely loved him, and not Zorro, says worlds about her character. They are a perfect match for one another.

Thank you for such an enjoyable read. :-)

The dark humor and biting wit in this chapter is simply marvelous. I particularly liked how Raymond remained cold and indifferent, and oddly jovial, throughout his trial and execution. He honestly still believed he was above everyone, and in some strange way thinks he still won because a crowd turned out for his execution. The way he could take such satisfaction in his own death was chilling.

The interaction between Raymond and Diego was fantastic. I loved how Raymond noticed the changes in Diego, and how his apathy towards the young don turned to pure hatred when Diego was able to guess his secrets. And then Raymond finally makes the connection right at the end—

Truly awesome! :-)

Being privy to the conversation between Father Benitez and Raymond though Sergeant Gonzales’ eyes was very creative. It was a nice touch how Gonzales was reluctant to let the priest stay with Raymond alone, and how he was curious as to what was being said between the men.

It was depressing to find Gonzales feeling guilty for his part in hurting the people of San Tasco. But I suppose that is what makes him a good man. I hope he will forgive himself for not seeing his commanding officer’s treachery.

Since the remaining chapters are from other characters’ viewpoints, and you have already written for Gonzales, Diego and Zorro, I can’t help but wonder if the sergeant ever notices the scars on Diego’s hands! :-)

This is definitely my favorite chapter. What can I say? I adore the father-son relationship. It’s one of my favorite elements in the Zorro mythos, no matter what version it is. :-)

As much as I love big reveal scenes, I really enjoyed the understated feel of this chapter. The quiet conversation outside was perfect. I’m happy that Don Alejandro was able to discover his son’s secret on his own and kept it to himself. Not to mention, it brings up images of the Disney series that I love so much. ;-)

If I have any complaints, it’s that this chapter had to end!

My favorite lines:

Only Diego's steps had that confidence and were still so graceful that Alejandro could barely hear him. It was amazing how well his new demeanour suited him after he had done his best to appear so clumsy before everyone.

His chest felt comfortably tight; Diego was everything any father could ask for in a son.

This was a sweet chapter. The friendship between Diego and Bernard is wonderful, and I love how they can confide in one another and how they look out for each other. That said, it was a little heartbreaking seeing Diego through Bernard’s eyes. This part especially:

-There was nothing cunning or rash about him; he looked just like any other nine year old boy having a nap with his dog. It wasn't an act he had developed to hide his secret identity – unlike Diego, Bernard had never had to pretend to be something that he wasn't. He didn't have to alternate between two identities; all he had to do was to be himself.-

Without Bernard as his confidant, how long would Diego have lasted as Zorro?

You did an amazing job capturing the atmosphere of the burning building. From the suffocating smoke to the scorching flames to the collapsing frame, it was superbly brought to life.

I enjoyed how Zorro met his match in Raymond, and how the commander attacked with a fury that the fox truly struggled with. I also greatly appreciate that you avoided the cliché of the hero nearly being beaten and suddenly coming up with the strength to beat his opponent. It’s kind of refreshing to be left wondering if Zorro might have been defeated.

Zorro agonizing over whether to kill Raymond was also a terrific moment. I have a soft spot for the hero struggling with his choices, and these two lines really nailed it:

He suddenly felt more doubtful than ever before during his fight for justice. What he knew was right was the opposite of what he felt was right.

Bravo! :-)

I wasn’t sure how easy it would be for me to follow this story since I am not familiar with the events of the final episodes, but it really drew me in. This was a fascinating look into Lt. Gabriel’s desperation at the thought of losing everything.

What struck me most was how naïve he was in following Raymond, even though his gut instincts were telling him to get out. Gabriel’s reliance on the commander is a stark contradiction to the headstrong, confident officer he usually appears to be. Overall, a truly absorbing character piece.

A very good fanfiction. Very sad, but very introspective and real. I was bored of the evil characters that cry before death. Fortunately, this is not the case.

Just two notes:

- Raymond set fire in the Governor's Mansion, not in the barracks.

- Raymond is already his first name, like Gabriel, Diego... In the Italian version, Raymond is Raimundo; Ramon in Spanish; Reimon in Japanese. We don't have his surname. In my fantasy I use the surname of other Zorro series, although they are different characters.

A Very Good Fanfiction! I Like Stories about Kaiketsu Zorro! Please more of them! ;-)