I hope you update again

plz update...i want to know more and plz do it soon!

I hope you continue soon..! :( You kind of left me with a cliff hanger

wait thats it i want more

decent so far but you need a beta

MORE MORE MORE! . ! love the story! update sooooooooon! :) love-30stm

This definitely has potential. I would definitely suggest finding another pair of eyes just to proofread chapters for you. There were quite a few grammar errors which appeared to just be typos, and it can be hard to catch those on your own so a fresh perspective can be really helpful. Also, another reader can give you input on other aspects of the story like characterization and plot and other elements that will expand with future chapters.

Over the years I have read a large number of stories based on Annette Curtis Klause’s young adult novel BLOOD AND CHOLOCATE. I am forced to say that of all of the writers you have shown the most promise. You wrote a story that short, simple, and alluring. It did not threaten to be complicated and confusing or dramatic. You wrote story that could easily be added to – if you wanted – but that could stand on its own. I adored it. I will be looking for more stories written by you in the future.

Loved it :)

Ok This was EXCELENT! If you don"t write more i may very well come and get you (JK). Awsome Work!

Bookbabydoll13