well written hope you update soon

You get lax and lapse into simplistic descriptions and a very straightforward telling of the story. The change in style is not only sudden and abrupt, it causes a decline in the standards of the entire story. We the readers have to get used to the new style, plus it isn't as good to read this way. Also there should be more in depth characterisations and character developments, making more obvious the interactions between kel and her possible love interests - it seems too unbelievable otherwise. You started off well, but you need to stick not only to one style - you need to keep up the standards you started off with, not continue with the ones you appear to have falllen in to.

Cute story at the end about Faithful. I thought it was great how you tied it in with the Lioness stuff.

Well, I just went through a PotS fanfic reading spree and one thing I noticed that sets your fic above and beyond some of the others even at this early stage (3 chapters, woo) is that you've put a great deal more effort into world-building than many (too many) authors do on ffn. Well done and keep up the good work, it really helps make reading your fic a good experience. I like the characterization so far too :D

is this going to have her getting with dom because that would be awesome. can't wait for the next chapter

this story is amazing!

please do the next chapter soooooon! :p

Yay, we are getting back to Kel again, aren't we? Sorry I am reviewing so late, but I haven't really had much time to read fan fiction, so sorry! Are the chapters going to be getting any longer, I don't mind reading them short, but I like longer chapters better... So update soon please!

*sheepishly*

Who was Eriamit again?

Update soon!

oooOOOooo

UPDATE!

I don't like Eitori! :( And, it was a short chapter! Boohoo! But, I still love the story! I can't wait until the next chapter! Should the g in good be capitalized? Or was it meant to be like that? Please update soon!

so...is Sayuko dancing yet?

oh, i didn't expect him to actually try 'n help...!

this is very good! the Eitori sub-plot about getting the woman the throne and loving Kel...thats just dumb.

So...will this be Kel-Neal, or -Joren? because i notice a conspicuous lack of DOM in the last few chapters hin-hint bring him BACK!

and UPDATE!

Oh noes!

so i just finished reading your destiny story its a very good story so far i like it! i started reading it last night and i actually finished it last nigh but i couldnt stay awake long enough to finish the review lol anyways it kept me busy while i had to lay in bed all day i look forward to reading some of your other works! since i cant get out of bed for the next two days

waterdemon9