|Reviews for Huntress of the Swift Paw Clan|
| MikeKrueger 3/4/13 . chapter 2
Furcadia needs some more fanfiction up here, especially using their Dragonlands setting. I can't believe I let this sit for three years. I apologize and will try to add more as time permits.
Thanks everyone for your feedback. I do appreciate it.
| metsfan101 10/10/11 . chapter 1
this is really good
| Razzle 11/24/10 . chapter 1
*SPOLIER ALERT* - I'm reviewing this fanfic pretty much line by line - READ IT FIRST, before this review! :)
Ooh! Nice opening here - it's very very easy to picture the way Balduga is starting the fire, without being wordy or boring. It reminds me of the way some of my very FAVORITE published fantasy genre books begin. Bravo!
Very sweet scene between Balduga and his daughter - you've obviously studied SOME type of tribal behaviour and/or rituals, whether you've looked into real life ones or merely read a lot of fantasy books with that type of culture, I can't tell. To the fairly un-educated me, it rings very true. I can't speak for a professional anthropologist, of course! But it seems really good to me. :)
I really, realy love your flashback to the hunt - very short yet picturesque. It was really observant and inventive of you to have Granatha (a CAT type) smell the blood to know she'd made her kill, rather than simply WATCHING the dart hit it's mark.
LOL! Her brother exaggerated. I get a strong impression of the type of rascally older brother she has just from that mention!
Aww! Cute interchange there between Granatha and Balduga about whether he'd be ashamed of her if she failed. You're really moving the character development along well. Granatha is coming across to me as a little overwhelmed by her sudden status as a hunter, and still very much needing her father's approval. There's just the right touch of vulnerability about her that makes her a sympathetic character, yet she most definitely does NOT come across as weak.
OooooooooooOOOoooooooh! I love that turn of phrase there! "Balduga seemed especially quiet as if listening to the very stars above." *openly jealous fellow author* Oooooooooohhh!
Totally, dramatic, epic scene with Balduga passing his knife on to his daughter. WOW. Poor Granatha! You portrayed how scared and upset she was really well. Poor Granatha - so much happening in one night, and now she's all alone and TOTALLY has to be self-sufficient! On the one hand, it makes sense with the sudden coming-of-age situation in the tribal culture you're going with (again, not an anthropologist here...), and on the other hand, it really reminds me of the stressful separation from parents and coming of age for a wildcat cub. Which makes me wonder whether she'll be seeking out a mate anytime soon. I can't quite tell for sure what you mean, exactly by "young". It could mean anything from a five-year-old child to a girl in her mid-teens - going by human ages, that is. That would be one thing worth clarifying, I think.
Poor Granatha isn't getting much sleep, is she? I would imagine not, since for the first time in her life she doesn't have her father to protect her and to depend on. It must be a terrifying prospect to sleep and become vulnerable to attack from a predator.
Ooh, you get another prize for realism! Go you for knowing about using dung as fuel for a fire! *applaud*
"She saw only her father's tracks leading off in the direction of his doom." T_T Angst alert! That was really well worded - I know I'm sounding a bit dry here, but I actually AM having an emotional reaction to the content here! You're doing a VERY good job with this story!
*nod* Yep, I was wondering about that too - so Balduga WAS married to more than one mate! It works for the wildcats... Well, for lions, anyway. I think cheetahs are more loners, with the females raising their cubs on their own, but this works really well as a compromise between traditonal "civilized" (ugh, I rather hate that, don't you?) human and cheetah for a furry culture.
Again, you paint a picture very clearly with a few masterful strokes of the brush. I can SEE every detail of this village as she nears it, and you've NOT bored the readers with pages on pages of weary description and prose.
Hmm! Interesting - her mother seems old and weak, perhaps in contrast with her own newfound abilities. And/or perhaps her mother knew or suspected her husband would die on this trip. I wonder if he discussed it with her?
Awwwwww! You're gonna make me cwwyyy! *sniff sniff sob!* "Did Balduga die a warrior?" "A swift and roaring one, Mama."
...The end of the chapter! Wow... *shakes you fiercely by the shoulders* HEY! UPDATE! YEAH, YOU!
This story is absolutely fantastic. I'm putting it STRAIGHT into my favorites and you had SO better update - pwease!
| TerrysChocolateOrange 10/17/10 . chapter 1
OMG that was, like, so amazing, but it would be even better with twilight characters! *daydreams about Edward's golden eyes* *sigh* he's so hot, I wish he was real, and don't you just LOVE Robert Pattinson? By the way, there should SO be a twilight team! I'm totally Team Edward :)
Have a nice day!
| Ms.Tajar 7/28/10 . chapter 1
Great story. I definately can't wait to see more! -