|Reviews for 0001: A New World, A New Day|
| RayneXHatake 10/14/10 . chapter 2
This is a really interesting start and it's caught my curiosity. The movie just left off and I'm sure everyone who watched the movie wondered what would happen to those left alive.
The only critique I have is that the formatting of the story is very hard to read and the dialog needs to be separated. Each time a new person is talking there should be on a separate line. Also, I would suggest adding a little more detail, describe the way the new world feels and smells. That ending scene where they all stepped out onto the deck for the first time was such a momentous scene that extra details here would compliment how the movie ended.
Anyway, good job on the chapters and I hope you don't take my advice for a flame because it's not.
| Emerald Tsukino 8/11/10 . chapter 2
A suggestion would be to treat all dialog as a new paragraph it would be easier to read and would make more people want to read your fic.
and break apart the glob it is more appeasing to the eye