OMGeezers y did he stake her she was his bezzie just run away

GOOD STORY THO

I agree. This needs to go on FictionPress

how does this come into the catogory "PS I love you"? if it isn't fanfiction then it should be the the sister site FictionPress!

i am in journalism, and i naturally proof read things, so i have a few suggestions...

in paragraph 2 you use both present and past tense in the same sentence: "I hugged him and hoped that he can take me out of this horror." When it should be: "I hugged him and hoped that he could take me out of this horror." or you could do it all present tense, but in that case you would have to change the entire chapter.

also, "'Sorry' was the first words that came out of his mouth." this isnt grammatically correct. sorry is only one word, not words.

and finally, "I looked at myself carefully in the mirror. Just to see what he wished for me to see." There should be a coma after 'mirror' not a period. its a good story, just a few grammatical errors. good job though(:

OOOHHH EEEEMMMM GGEEEE ! I looovveee it ! seriosuly, pllleeaassee update this story soon ! Its really good :)

xx