| Reviews for New Scars |
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Virgo1998 4/21/13 . chapter 9I loved this, 100%. I feel as though you really captured the characters. It was awesome, and I commend you for switching the POV from third to first. |
X.summergrey.X 1/26/13 . chapter 9golly, i'm glad she got through that. shes must stronger then she realize. in your story and in the book. |
cody denning 10/18/12 . chapter 9 i really liked with but like i seid in my last comment i think everything was just put in too quickly and you could have explained situations more just some feedback |
cody denning 10/18/12 . chapter 3 i am only on chapter 3 and i love it but a few things when you are explaining how she cut you could have used more detail and all these events are happaning soo quicklyy |
ana gonzales 10/11/12 . chapter 9 this was amazing i wanted to keep on reading forever the way willow told david she was pregnant i thought that was funny i hope this book countinues on forever that it never stops keep up the good work!3 |
ana gonzales 10/11/12 . chapter 2 im loving this chapter!3 |
Friendly Advice 7/21/12 . chapter 9 "He hadn't left the hospital yet when I told him that I was, excuse me, we were pregnant" Okay, last complaint - most pregnant women I know don't like the term "we're pregnant". Because that implies that the father is also going to have to suffer severe back pain and discomfort for the best part of a year, then squeeze out a baby in agonising pain. It's unusual for a pregnant woman to use "we're pregnant" instead of "I'm pregnant". I'd avoid it if I were you. |
Friendly Advice 7/21/12 . chapter 2 Oh god, I really don't want to flame you. I'm really sorry if I sound mean, but I think these are things you should probably know for future reference. I don't know how much you know about self injury, but from this chapter I'm guessing it's very little. '"Willow, do you cut yourself?" David finally asked.' I can assure you that if someone has self injured as seriously as Willow does, it would be extremely obvious. The cuts tend to all be fairly straight, parallel and in most cases are inflicted horizontally across the forearms. There is no way that anyone would believe that they were accidental. "It makes you feel good, I know, I have read up on cutters before." As a general rule, cutting doesn't really make you feel good. You feel relief, but I think very few cutters would ever really say it "felt good". Also, when someone finds out that you self harm, it's like the world has exploded. It's terrifying, knowing that someone else knows your darkest secret. I think Willow's thoughts and reaction need some major expansion here. |
Megan 7/21/12 . chapter 1 I really don't want to sound mean here or anything, but...it wasn't great. I couldn't help but start laughing when I came across this sentence in the first chapter: 'sadly the car flipped over and landed in a ditch. I was knocked out.' It's like saying "Hitler killed six million Jews, which was a pity." "Sadly" the car flipped over? SADLY? From the other reviews I've gathered that Guy ends up in a coma because of his injuries. That's a bit more than sad. This is the one person who knows all of Willow's secrets, the person she loves, the person who has helped her to overcome her need for the razor. You described the accident which leaves this amazing, brilliant person in a coma as "sad". Understatement much? And it seems a tad (well, very) unrealistic that simply swerving to avoid a deer would throw the car up into the air enough to make it flip over and into a ditch. And I haven't even mentioned how casually that sentence was thrown in there, the same way you might mention ripping a new pair of jeans. Other than that, your sentences are overly simplistic ('This happened. Then this happened. Then this happened.') and you need to revise your grammar. I think this has the potential to be a good story - the idea behind it is great! It's just the writing that lets you down a bit. |
justPROMISE 3/18/12 . chapter 9Amazing. :) You're a really talented author, I loved this. :D |
rocktheroxie 12/4/11 . chapter 9I really love this story. It was really good but chapters 6-8 were really short and annoyingz. I like how you ended it So nicely. |
rocktheroxie 12/4/11 . chapter 2Iiiiii really like this (: |
MovedAccounts-NA 5/28/11 . chapter 9I loved it! It was so cute! |
MovedAccounts-NA 5/28/11 . chapter 8Awwwwww! |
MovedAccounts-NA 5/28/11 . chapter 7Cute! |