|Reviews for It's Magic|
| Ai Neko Yokai 4/10/13 . chapter 6
I don't know what is worst: how your story is turning out or the idiocy from the majority of your reviewers. (Let's face it... they all -the idiocy-sprouting ones - knew this was a HPJB pairing, yet they were all trying to figure out when HPEC was going to happen.)
(Above is towards reviewers from Chapters 1-5)
1. Alice loophole: why is she pressing for Harry and Edward? She is a seer, surely she's seen Edward and Bella and the lovely mess they're going to create.
2. This is where more love is lost when it concerns how you wrote Edward. Edward is smart enough to know that he can't risk being seen in public kissing his teacher. It was an endearing quality that I don't know if I can read a story without it. But I can toss a story.
3. The characters are turning into extremely predictable, slightly unlovable, beings. I know what to expect from this Harry. He doesn't have a backbone unless it concerns Edward's forwardness. Like Bella. Edward, he's not tactful and he's more risky. Nothing really left of him that can be liked. I see where this is going when it concerns Jacob.
Your characters, you can't tell them apart. In a very big way, this is what I'm trying to say.
4. Not chocking... choking.
I'm giving this like one or two more shots. I honestly, definitely, had a serious problem with the ending of this chapter (3).
| Ai Neko Yokai 4/10/13 . chapter 5
Do you know know what a midterm is? The start of this chapter, you say 'October came and went'. But then you say:
'Days ran into weeks, which ran into months. Before he knew it, Harry was already preparing midterms for his students.'
You should look up the definition of a midterm.
Then you finally give us a month, being February.
Midterms are not done in February.
Going back to a reviewer from Chapter 1, you need to fact check. Not only that, but you need to check your timeline as well.
| Ai Neko Yokai 4/10/13 . chapter 4
1. When Harry leaves the Cullen's house and Edward and he are talking:
'"Good," Edward said, then silence reigned. Harry shuffled uncomfortably, wondering [is] Edward had something to say. He looked up at the young vampire, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.'
[in brackets is where there is a mix]
2. I really don't appreciate how Harry is so feeble-minded. And even more, I dislike Hermione for thinking she can just pull Harry, a grown man, from his new home.
You are aware of how 'challenged' you've made Harry out to seem to be, yes? Like, he has to have a keeper (Hermione) and he hasn't learned that you can say no.
3. Seriously? Going to have Harry hit by a truck? Can you be anymore unoriginal?
There was a little love lost when I realized in what direction you were going to be writing Harry in. (Same goes for Edward and Hermione.)
However, I'm still suckered in, therefore will be pressing the 'Next' button.
| Ai Neko Yokai 4/10/13 . chapter 3
1. Near to the end, you have a very obvious typo:
'e He He shrugged at the Cullens. "There's so much I can do," he said again.'
2. I think I'm falling in love with this story!
(2) 'Nuff said!
| Ai Neko Yokai 4/10/13 . chapter 2
I honestly don't have anything to nitpick about this chapter. I found it slightly child-like, but that was most likely intended by the byplay. :D Really enjoyed Harry mentally yelling at Edward, too. Onward to chapter three, then!
| Ai Neko Yokai 4/9/13 . chapter 1
Hello there! I write my reviews while I read. I number out whatever I find and give an overall review at the end. Please be warned, I sometimes get snippy if I see a lot of petty errors.
1. When Mary is showing Harry his office/classroom:
"So, any other questions?" Mary asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"Harry's fine. And I don't know my class schedule."
You've mixed up who is speaking, while keeping in mind who is speaking. I'm unsure if anyone else let you know this, though.
# 'There were about thirty of them and all of them seemed to know each other' -talking about the ninth graders.
Earlier in the chapter, recently, you had Mary say that there's... And I'm stopping myself there. I rechecked what she said, and noticed she had said that MOST OF the classes would be about twenty students-not all of them.
(Changed (2) into a hashtag, a reader error.)
2. Would just like to point out, that normally, ninth graders are fourteen (14) not fifteen years of age.
3. When Tom is giving Harry the tour of the school:
'Je thought back to his Hogwarts graduation,'
Spelling error. Most likely correct when saying 'Je' is 'He'
*Again, but this time 'He stared out the window after the shut the door behind him.'
4. Ummmm... There is no (4).
Despite some mistakes, I am interested in reading further. Only actual issue I have, is that I don't grasp where Harry had time to learn Biology well enough to teach it. When it concerns Occlumency, I'm willing to let that slide as an established ability within the two years after the war. Although, again, to be a teacher -regardless of the subject- takes more time than just two years and I find this an unreasonable quirk in the timeline you've given us.
Another again, I really am going to press the Next button because I am still liking the story so far. Curiously interesting with a great plot; just hope to not be disappointed.
Would like to say, I read the reviews for this chapter, and was appalled by some of them and then slightly miffed how NO ONE (even your flame reviews) pointed out an easily-fixed error. There were reviews letting you know some holes in your chapter (reread chapter and couldn't find the holes they pointed out), but they still never mentioned that one (1).
Didn't like how no one pointed out (3).
Really hated the person who who ragged on you for (#).
And (2), normally 14 is freshman year (ninth grade), 15 is sophomore year (tenth grade), 16 is junior year (eleventh grade), and 17 is senior year (twelfth grade). Either way, technically not substantial to the story, figured I'd list it to be a PITA.
Onward to Chapter 2!
| Miss Nailia 4/8/13 . chapter 19
it was a great story, i really enjoyed it thank you but i really have this urge to say something a little... dramatic so:
"nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! it's finished? already? but... but .. IT's NOT ENOUGH! can i have More?please? if i beg? pretty please... :( " did it work? lol
| RiceBallCrossIdolSnape 3/27/13 . chapter 1
Oh potty! Checking out the youngins?!
| Dymian 3/23/13 . chapter 10
Ok...he just got mind-raped. Again. Why is he blowing this off, especially after all the repeated 'No one goes though my mind but me' thing? And why isn't he more bitter about the ordeal? I would probably be like 'Had your fun? Why not do some more? After all, I have a lot of experience being mind-raped by self-important bastards.'
| SaiSuki 1329 3/12/13 . chapter 19
Re-read this all over again because it was so great the 1st time. That definitely hasn't changed its still great! :D
| Anklet 3/6/13 . chapter 1
Since I had already posted a review for sex gods, and you have disabled your private messaging feature, I am reduce to posting both reviews here.
You should be happy I am going through so much trouble to make my voice heard.
For sex gods,
um... Sirius Black?
or how about a totally random character like Fred or George Weasley.
And for Its magic:
Nice writing style. I am happy when people go through the trouble to format properly.
| Zesiro Cross 3/4/13 . chapter 19
I love it!
| LokiFenrir 3/3/13 . chapter 19
SO CUTE! I always like psychotic Edward...Harry and Jacob are perfect together and Draco and Blaise just made it all better!
| lovehurtsandheals 2/25/13 . chapter 19
i really enjoyed the ending. my favorite part the whole fic, draco is so funny
| RatchetsGirl 2/18/13 . chapter 1