Great charaterisations and descriptions! Touching too, and I love that you elaborated on a small mission in the game's storyline.

Ah the irony of that last line… love it! That was great!

Awww, it's so cute! I like this whole idea of Big Jak cuddling up with Little Jak. And I like all those little hints that they're the same person that you peppered the story with. Also, having the guards say things that are in the game was a nice touch. And that last line was so funny. Ah, the irony.

holy crap! that is just toooooooooo AmaZiNG to

discribe, luv how u didnt make the characters

seem off/ unlike themselves. i wish u could have

wrote a second part to this!

these Jak/lil' Jak storys r hard to write (& 4 me hard 2 find 4 sum reson)

i no u've herd this a billion times but im gonna

make it a billion...and 1!

I LUV IT!

_

PleAsE check out: From One World to The Next

ME LOVE! Ya got a fan. Now to read "A Matter of Time"story. Mysterious Angel-05 says it's I'll be the judge of that. -_-

Awe! And here everybody thought Jak has no soft side. Only his younger self and Daxter can do that. LoL!. Love the story.

LOVED! Just so sweet!

Oooooooh the irony of that last statement. Very well done, it was cute :) poor little Jak er...Mar, he's scared stiff. -hugs kid-

Loved it. Are you gonna continue it or is this it?

Sorry, Jak, but he will end up like you! He is you!

Good story! Simple and soothing, I like it.

Interaction between Jak and his younger self is always cool, but yours was amazing. The mention of deja vu, the ending, it was just awesome! Keep it up.

Wow, this was good! I remember that mission in the game. XD But seriously, great writing, everyone's in character, and I loved the ending! Keep up the good work!

Great job in writing this up. Your characterisation of everyone was pretty believable and you are positively /evil/ for putting in that little twist at the end. :'(

I hope you keep writing! On an unrelated note: god dammit, now I'm addicted to Jak and Daxter fics again... I hope there are a few new ones to read. _"

-Sked-San-san

Eee, what a wonderful story! :3 The direct tie ins with the game, like what the guards muttered or the dialogue said by the city speakers, was a very nice touch. It was also really awesome how you hinted at the connection between Jak and his younger self, not to mention how adorable you managed to make their interaction.

Very sweet. Jak and Daxter is a favorite series of mine. That lost frontier game they made is okay, but it'd be great if you could shoot other than diagonally. There's a lot of holes in that game. Most almost large enough to drive a starship through. You ever read Redmage04's work? Their J&D fics are amazing. If this is a one-shot, it's great. I'd love to see your take on some other missions too.