|Reviews for Of Sea and Sky|
| Kataoi 1/10/13 . chapter 19
Since this is the end of the first arc, I'll write a review here for sake of keeping it neat:
I am always hesitant to get into a fic that's a long one, but I'm also really excited when it turns out to be one that sucks me in. Sasha and Milla was a bonus.
Clearly, I enjoyed the story to the point of reading 60,000 words to get this far. Only if you paid me some good money would I invest that much time into a fic if I didn't like it. The conversations between Sasha and Milla in the earlier chapters had me in stitches, and Sasha's tolerance of Luka had me in giggle fits as well. I was pretty well sold on their characterizations; I felt like you did good on the canon folks of the game. And even when the story got dark, when I read things that perhaps I should've not (this is nothing against you, more against my imagination), it still felt ridiculously in-character. Both Sasha and Milla kept their cool, which I imagine would be a vital skill if you're a top-ranked agent.
The "cubic buttload" (nice phrase) of OCs wasn't an issue for me. Clearly in this kind of story, you need to expand on the ranks of the Psychonauts - we're barely given five in the game, and you can't run an organization with that. So I had no problem with the presence of these folks. While I do think their numbers could've been streamlined, I didn't really have too much issue with the girth of their ranks.
My larger issue comes from clarity. There are missing scene transitions, or a lack of formatting; the story will jump from Scene A to Scene B without any note and it takes a moment to get back on track from there. Moreso than that, is clarity of characters. The OCs were the biggest headache for me to keep straight - I think there's like, three bad guys? A leader and some guys? There's a trucker-dude involved somewhere? Then there's some named prison guys...I think? And guards may have names or maybe they're agents? With the creation of a lot of characters, there comes the task of making them and their roles clear. I got used to Che after a while, but I was never certain about the Jonas brothers, and who they were related to, and what their “thing” was. Perhaps this is something remedied by me reading it over again.
What may have also led me to confusion is the way paragraphs and lines tend to be arranged. Sometimes I thought one character was speaking when it was another due to it being “grouped” with another character. Other times, the dialogue ran on for so long without a tag of who-said-what that I lost track. I really must pull a Sasha and insist on order and organization because you are choosing to write with a lot of characters, many of whom your audience is “meeting” for the first time. It's a lot of information to take in, and then to be actively working with when it comes to reading future chapters.
But! But – I wouldn't have kept with it if there wasn't a good story at the core of it. And there is. If this is just the first arc, I'm very excited at what's to come, particularly because that means I have something to read for a while longer.
| SunDragon27 1/10/13 . chapter 22
The reunion was so sweet! Can't wait for this story to get rolling again!
| SunDragon27 12/9/12 . chapter 21
Good chapter. (: Cant wait for more.
| SunDragon27 11/18/12 . chapter 20
Man I'm really curious on where this is going. It seems like a whole new beginning although I know its not. But keep it up! I'm loving these fast updates! :D
Also I'm appreciating Milla recognizing her feelings for Sasha and cant wait for more of that!
| sonicsora 11/16/12 . chapter 19
Even with what I already know about the devious things you have in mind, I'm still super excited to see how you execute it, dear. Your plot is so awesome. I'm looking forward to seeing the REAL beginning hit us. hehe.
I disagree with your idea of them being OOC though towards the end. You pushed the characters to extremes, humans react in a very varied manner when stressed beyond their capabilities. This applies to usually chill Milla and Sasha.
| SunDragon27 11/16/12 . chapter 19
This has been a buttload of information! I'm really excited about part two and think you did a really excellent job on the growing of the characters.(Milla, Sasha, Raz and Lili) I cant wait to read more! Keep it up!
| SunDragon27 11/16/12 . chapter 18
Oh the insanity! This just got ten times crazier if that's even possible! Hurry Milla, save Sasha! And update soon! Your doing great so keep it up! (:
| SunDragon27 11/4/12 . chapter 15
Wow a lot just happened. Poor Raz and Lili! Oh and Sasha of course he has been through a lot. Where is Milla! Anyway please update soon cause well I cant help but be so excited for this story!
| Lost Password 11/3/12 . chapter 13
It's like a walk down memory lane... but every step is accompanied by a new bruise. Poor Sasha.
Levi scares me. D: Hurry, Milla!
I must say, I'm very impressed with your update schedule. Quick, while keeping in quality and excitement.
Please keep it up!
| SunDragon27 11/2/12 . chapter 13
I love how your updating so fast. (: This is getting so good! Cant wait for more!
| SunDragon27 11/2/12 . chapter 12
Oh man I am way stoked for the next chapter! Its getting way good! So much is happening and I cant wait to find out how it all ties together. (: Appreciate the shipping in there. Update soon!
| SunDragon27 10/27/12 . chapter 11
Holy crap that was like a crap load of new information. So is there a different bad guy other than Levi? I thought he would be the main problem but I guess not. You got that up fast! Keep it up!
| Invader Kiwi 10/27/12 . chapter 11
Hooray! There... are just not enough Psychonauts fanfictions, and far too few good ones. This is one of them.
| SunDragon27 10/25/12 . chapter 10
Oh no! What happened to him?! I hate cliffhangers, but then again love them. Update very soon please cause I dont want to be in suspense for too long! Great chapter. :)
| Lost Password 10/15/12 . chapter 10
Me again! Meant to submit this earlier, but real life got in the way. Here's my theory, but don't tell me if I'm right, because I want to be surprised.
As I understand it, the Veil is a psychic supremacy terrorist group. It is founded by Sir Jonas. After Sasha and Milla work to bring down The Veil, Sir Jonas commits suicide by cop. True Psychic Tales contacts his younger brother and Veil gang member Lord Jonas (after having his mind scoured for evidence/perps/etc.) for permission to use his name and likeness in the comics. At this time a psychic called Ceasar Ehsas is found in Europe in a fugue state, claiming that the "spirit" of his abilities has gone missing. He describes it as a peson who has dark hair and light eyes and will be instinctively drawn to him. At Lord Jonas' request (who had apparently never met Ceasar Ehsas), he would appear in the comics in the background of crowd shots, so his spirit would see him. His friend is Jimmy Laguna who, according to Lord Jonas, was not involved in the affairs of the Veil.
So my theory is that Miss Luka is Ceasar Ehsas' Spirit (if that's actually how psychic abilities work, Sasha seems a bit sceptical). The only way Ceasar's request could have reached Lord Jonas is if Jimmy Laguna is actually James Levi (Jimmy diminutive of James?), he knows exactly what Sasha and Milla are doing just like Levi, he's in the same city as where Levi struck and immediately calls Sasha after Sasha tried to contact Levi...
But Jimmy and Sasha agreed to meet at McBurger Queen... and Sasha now has a depiction of Levi... So if Jimmy really is Levi, I foresee a running battle. And it will be epic.
I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!