What are you talking about! Your English is great! Just a little mistakes but it's fine, because your story is a lot better than mine xD 8)

I like how you describe Yamamoto's feelings, it's very detailed and that allows the reader to be able to really feel the fear. But at the same time, it has to be this way if you're a Mafioso.

Do write more in English! (Because I couldn't understand Portuguese X_x) 3

This was excellent. I like how it starts out dark and gloomy, but the ending is filled with lighthearted-ness and hope. I think you captured both sides of Yamamoto wonderfully, as well. Lovely job.

Sora(: