|Reviews for Deliverance|
| Zute 4/26/12 . chapter 8
Oh man, great update! I could wish they happen a little more often, but you gets what you gets. :D
Poor Sibyl! I didn't think she really feelings that deep for Cullen, but maybe I've forgotten that part of the plot and should reread. It's awful they were caught!
| Nenalata 1/2/12 . chapter 7
No, no, no! Come now! Ignore the fact that it took me ages to getting around to reviewing-you are absolutely one of my favourite writers, and I always read your stuff before my other alerts. Yes, everything else has gone unread lately. But lo and behold-once again, yours was the first I read! I do hope you're thinking of submitting something to the BioWare DA writing contest.
By the by, I recently made a friend who, despite his heterosexuality, reminded me greatly of Dorian. Eerie.
I apologise; I didn't expect six cups of joe to have much of an effect. Onto the review!
It made my day when I checked my dusty email account and discovered this waiting for me, and I was not disappointed. The ending, the ending! You did a great job with that build-up. Too often you can easily tell that the writer was impatient for their plot to get to the point and don't spend much-needed time lulling the reader into a false sense of security. On the other hand, many writers create horribly wordy epics that make such scenes' punchline less effective. You, however, hit that perfect middle ground. Another thing I loved about that scene besides how in-character Cullen was: Dorian's shtick is the way things go his way, and even when they don't, he manages to pull it off with a smirk. This, however, was so far out of left field that though he did wrap everything nicely, it kept the reader on his (her, my) toes, keeping things interesting, not making a character's quirks hackneyed, etc etc etc lack of coherency. Again, that lulling-into-security-loljk. Which is rather difficult to pull off well, you know, so it's a pleasure to read.
Oh, and that tutoring scene was lovely-the banter, the nameless templar with a real personality, finding a way to describe magic...
I'm losing the small bit of lucidity I had when I started typing, so I'll end with this: you always write for YOU, and that's the most important thing. That's not to say that no one else enjoys your hard work, though C:
| Kor-Mavwin 12/11/11 . chapter 7
Delicious, delicious, delicious...
You've really captured the rather fucked up nature of the circle. Not surprised Dorian's turned out to be so frustrated, manipulative and vaguely sadistic.
Enjoying the Circle story- really it could just be a standalone piece- but also looking forward to him finally getting out of the Circle. Poor Alistair won't know what hit him!
| Zute 12/10/11 . chapter 7
Well, I, for one, am reading this and enjoying it. I'm sad it's had so few reviews, it is great. Dorian is truly evil. :p He certainly has a strange way of trying to win Sibyl's affection. If that's what he wants, I'm not even sure I know!
I can't wait to see what happens between Cullen and Sibyl. :D
| Zute 12/3/11 . chapter 6
Aw, a shame you haven't updated this in 3 months, I just stumbled on this and really enjoyed it. The characters were a lot of fun. I liked the Surana who was so incredibly mischievous it verged on evil and the Amell who seems so entirely his opposite, at first glance anyway.
Sure hope you come back to writing, you're awesome.
| karebear 8/6/11 . chapter 1
Ok, so I've only had time to read the first chapter, but this is amazing. You really do an amazing job of (re)creating this world, filling it in with characters who have depth and believability... I hope I can get to the rest of it all very soon
| Nenalata 8/6/11 . chapter 6
...Oh, ouch. I...don't have anything to say, really, other than, "I knew there was a reason I loved Dorian."
You write beautifully. I've said it before, but each time I fall in love with your style more and more C:
Hoo boy, three AM is not the time to be writing coherent reviews. I'm elated that you continued with this.
| GriffinGuts 5/5/11 . chapter 5
Shit. He is such a manipulative sociopath. I feel like even if there did come a time when he wanted to be sincere, it would be almost physically impossible. I love him. And,...I have mentioned this before,...I love him with Zevran.
| Rinzei86 2/28/11 . chapter 5
This is another amazing chapter. I really enjoyed the more in depth look at the Sibyl/Dorian dynamic. And poor Jowan! I can see how he would eventually fall into the mess he does in canon. What makes it even more tragic is that you see how much he needs his friends' guidance and support at this point in time. But of course they're much more concerned with their own hang-ups at the moment... which is very in character for *both* of them. I have little more than disdain for Amell. Dorian makes a very good point that there are many similarities between the two of them. Except that he's actually up front about being narcissistic and manipulative. Which is awesome from an literary stand point. Every main character needs their foil. But I could just be biased cause I like Dorian more in every way (and he's the leading man).
I'd like to imagine that the events in this story have a very direct influence on how Dorian approaches his friendship with Alistair in "Questions"(which I read *again*, cause I just love it so much). I'm sorry I don't have more to say in the way of critique. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still reading and loving every bit of it. I also felt you needed more reviews. I'm the type who usually only occasionally writes reviews, because I'm shamefully lazy. But your story is awesome and review-worthy and [insert magnanimous arm sweep here] I shall review for you... even if those reviews end up a bit silly (like this one).
| Rinzei86 2/5/11 . chapter 4
I've been reading this and your other stories featuring this particular characterization of the m!Surana. And I have to say, I love it (*him*) so much! He's way more interesting than a sheltered circle-loyalist who's bitterness with the Magi's situation is only lightly sprinkled in. Which is the way a lot of the mage origin PCs are written. And those interpretations of the mage!warden aren't bad (they are still good stories), but your Dorian just shines brighter in comparison.
This expansion on his back story and personality just reaffirms how well matched he is with Zevran in "Questions". He's so affably twisted and even at his most complex, I feel he's consistent with his defiance (even when it comes to his friends). I have to say that I like his relationship with Amell the best in this story. How he always undermines her expectations of his reactions. I like the parallel you show with the flashback when they're seven to the situation with the hallway kiss. He makes her acts of apology or concern useless, therefore extracting his own reparation of their fight on his own terms. Which I think only makes sense (for his personality and in general), since sometimes apologies and sympathies are really meant to make the giver of these sentiments feel better not those who it is offered to. And I like that Dorian is the type to see this and break even the basic rules of reconciliation. You've created a fascinating and vivid character. Please continue writing, both you and Dorian are amazing! You are my new hero (and Dorian, my anti-hero).
| Nenalata 1/31/11 . chapter 4
Oh, hurray! An update!
Hmm, I'm going to go with concrit first this time. There was one section where you forgot to put a space, but hey, that's not my main issue. This is:
"And I so wanted to chug some lyrium and get lost in the Fade."
Even though that entire line is funny, er...Dorian wouldn't know about what the Harrowing entails, I thought. They know their skills as magi will be tested, but not the particulars.
Well, that's about it where concrit is concerned. Anyway.
Wow, nice long chapter here! As usual, I -adore- the way you write Dorian, so yessir, I would not mind at all some overlap! I also thought you wrote the Tempest scene spectacularly-mainly with how you described the magic: how it feels to make, how it works, and how it goes out of control. The bit with Drass was also a very nice touch-felt kind of a little bite for me, plying me with sympathy for the templar.
And I see we're now moving closer to the Origin! I'll be sad to leave these youthful-ish days of innocence-ish behind, but I'm also very curious as to what happens to Sibyl, and everything else.
I love this story. Can't wait for the next installment!
| Nenalata 11/21/10 . chapter 3
Uwah! I haven't read this chapter yet...sorry for late reviewing.
Anyway. Jeez, this keeps getting better and better. The main thing I love about this is the fact that you've written and created two OCs...and have given them flaws and mistake-making tendencies without getting too Sue-ish. I really like your storytelling, the way you hint at things to come without giving anything away, etc.
It's early in the story, so I don't really have anything in the ways of concrit, but if things keep progressing like this, I may not have anything at all to offer when it ends.
Looking forward to the next installment!
| greyfall 9/9/10 . chapter 2
I just read through the codex to find the reference! of course it makes perfect sense now that I found it.
Interesting chapter, Dorian is quite the little asshat isn't he? ;) I'm interested to see more!
| Meiran Chang 9/8/10 . chapter 2
My God this chapter is delicious. Where do I even begin? Dorian wanting to play an elf game for once, and being rebuffed in the cruelest of ways by someone who was supposed to be his friend- so damn sad, and it was equally as sad when Sibyl was shot down as she tried to make reparation for having been cruel. What a beautiful way to highlight the schism between human and elf, not even between mage and non-mage. The way an older Dorian just keeps jabbing and jabbing anywhere he sees a weak spot- what is it that has him hurting so much that he feels the need to do this, be this, especially to vulnerable people like the stick-thin blonde and the desolate Templar? The way he devastated Sibyl as she got her Hermione on over the tomes, or tried to... man, and poor Jowan, stuck between those two as he tries to keep the peace or at least redirect Dorian's hostilities and Sibyl's prudery. That line of Dorian's about how Sibyl's sweet and shy act got more Templars than Dorian's most belligerent whoredom- niiiiice, and ouch. And poor Templar Drass! I've read the codex, but it's been a long time, so I have no idea who he is... a;slgha;ghk I want to know! -actually I just looked it up on the wiki. FFFF POOR DUDE. This is gorgeous stuff, it really is top-tier fanfiction, and I am def along for the ride. I have no idea what your plans are, but I can't wait to watch them unfold.
| Nenalata 9/8/10 . chapter 2
My mindblown. I think I should be used to how incredibly complex and oozing awesome Dorian is by now...but I doubt I ever will. He's by far my favourite character, and I'm letting you know that because I want you to know the emotions I felt reading the Dane argument, or the conversation with Drass, or how little regard I hold for Sybil.
It's depressing me that I'm not finding anything wrong to write about. Makes me feel like I'm not writing a REVIEW.
Waiting for part 2 with far too much eagerness to allow me to hold onto my pride.