A very good poem though it has a funky rhythm and you're trying hard to rhyme. You don't need the rhyme here. Otherwise, I like it a lot. Nice images and whatnot. Keep writing. And thanks for the

Excellent imagery and word choice, except that it seems you are trying too hard to find a rhyme. With the under lying morbid tone, the rhythm doesn't match and doesn't work. However, I do like this poem very much.

wow, this was great. i really like this. it's just so deep and morbid that it completely fits me (i read this stuff a lot). this is really cool.

I don't have alot to say about this, so I don't know why I'm taking up your space wrighting this very sentence.

Cool poem, powerful, yadda yadda. I have no constructive critisism for it.

PD

Very cool. I like the idea and the emotion behind it, but I'd like to know what inspired you, besides (obviously-duh) Lucretia. lol ;P