The setting certainly does have a lot of potential once properly fleshed out.

The only change I don’t get is the real-time FTL comms. Having that changes the dynamic rather fundamentally.

Dear Gandalf:

Do me a favor and change that "CE" thing near the beginning. It annoys me. If you want to say that the birth of Jesus of Nazareth inaugurated a "Common Era" of mankind, then stick with "Anno Domini"; if you want to say that a single religious system shouldn't be allowed to fix the calendar for everyone else, then show some guts and say "An CCCLVII". Anything less is unworthy of you. (I know, because I recognize your pen name, and anyone who's read that much Dave Barry is clearly an individual of conspicuous intelligence and taste.)

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

great story so far, I really like how different things are. The various antagonists are more human, they're not being stereotypical assholes, and Eywa actually assists them. Keep up the good work!

I look forward to more of this, wondering what the nature of crises will be. You have the Tipani as the acculturated native auxilary troops of the RDA and a rather Viet-nam war feel to the story. It will be interesting to see how, if at all, the humans get changed by the events of the developing war between the RDA their allies and the .

What an enchanting read so far. You are a very confident writer (IMO), by that I mean I see true flow of thought and no imitation. You keep me guessing what I'll read next with each little minutia thrown in or change to the original script; I definitely dig that.

First...Burke Shipley. Lol.

Second...Tsaheylu refers to the bond made by connecting a Na'vi queue with a mate or with a bond-beast, not the queue itself. I think you mean "tswin."

Third...Am loving the new Quaritch, a Quaritch who commands Na'vi troops alongside human SecFors units and gets along with Grace.

Fourth, never stop updating. This is gold, and I want MOAR.

(pumps fists excitedly)

Yes. YESSSSS!

This is what I wish the movie could have been...detailed, well-thought-out, with complex characters and an engaging narrative. Consider me subscribed!

Grea beginning! I hope you add more realism than what we saw in the movie. Keep going!

Stuff i liked:

the detail you have put into on RDA developed planets is great now keep going, i would love to c further detail about pandora.

stuff i didnt like:

bit short for a first chapter but then i am a bookworm and this is really a teaser to gauge intrest

final thourghts:

i would LOVE to c more, i am certainly enjoying it :D

please continue, very good