It was really good. You did a nice job catching the characters. It's one of the better fanfics I've seen on this site. It's good to see someone trying something good in a site full of

Minor nitpick, #17 was brought back with the wish to bring everyone back, but Funimation just didn't draw too much attention to it. However, Akira's word says otherwise. The manga barely acknowledges too, however, just that after the battle they refer to him as being alive (for example, they use "is" instead of "was). He appears in the Majin Buu saga as well.

Hey, don't blame Funimation for the lack of love stories. That's actually the fault of the guy who wrote DBZ, Akira Toriyama . He's a shy guy and didn't like the idea of writing love stories, even though he paired almost all the main characters together with someone.

Wonderful fic, i loved it.

I LOVE your story, one of the best i've read yet. please update soon!

This has to be the cutest Krillinx18 story I've ever read. THIS IS SO CUTE!

Great K/18 get together! By far one of the best K/18 get togethers that I've read.

this was very good. I am very glad you didnt have 18 and Krillen dramatically professing their love for each other. A relationship between the two of them would be much more complex.

Hey hey, good stuff! First off, I have to tell you that I grinned outright at your description of Kuririn as a "badass" ... that's definitely the first time I've ever heard him called that. But hey, works for me! And that line alone made me decide I'm going to like this story ...

Overall, you've got the characterizations in this chapter down pat. Granted, this was short and didn't deal too much with in-depth analysis, but I liked it nonetheless. The line about Kuririn finally being able to sleep again was a nice touch, since it would have been seven years since they had been safe. Quite a track record for a backwater planet that no one has heard of, eh?

The loneliness bit was good, too (or should I say Loneliness? Heh). Capitalizing the word, whether intentional or not, helped to set apart the void inside him as different from regular loneliness. Although I'd have to argue with Kuririn on one point - Goku, Tenshinhan, and Piccolo have all been lonely at one point. Piccolo especially, during the first eight years of his life before he met Gohan. Tenshinhan has Chaozu, yes, but it must be frustrating to be the only one with his physical anomaly. As for Goku, I think he would be lonely at times - he has his family, but we all know how much he pays attention to THEM ... not to mention, having all that strength would put him apart from everyone else. It's gotta' be quite the experience, knowing that an entire planet looks to you as soon as something goes wrong. That has to put him apart from others, in his mind, at least ...

Whoops, rambling ...

One thing, though - I wouldn't set your characterizations around the scene on Kami's Lookout ... the version you used, the FUNimation one, is the one scene in the ENTIRE series that was dubbed the worst. (Not including the Pioneer dubbing of the Saiyajin Saga - yuck!) #18 never said "it was really nice of you" or "I'm not mad at you" or any of that stuff. The dialogue is as follows:

"Ba-ka! #17 is my twin! Not that THAT matters! Don't expect gratitude for taking out the bombs (self destructs)! TAKO!" (I don't have a translation for "Tako" - I just know it's an insult) Then she pauses, says, "Later" and flies off.

That's a direct translation, btw ... I got it from a friend of mine who's fluent in Japanese.

But that's not your fault - that's the fault of the translators, who decided to make #18 into more of a "woman" and less of an "ice queen", for whatever reason. The lines they gave her were completely inconsistent with her character at that point in time. She was far too confused and angry to even THINK about gratitude, and it made no sense for her to soften up then. *frustrated sigh*

Anyway, I'm supposed to be reviewing your story, aren't I, my friend! Sorry about the ranting!

Leia

-But that one reviewer was right ... it's not FUNimation's fault. They just bring it to English. It's Akira Toriyama (the creator of the manga) and Toei Animation (the company that helped produce the anime)'s faults. FUNi is just to blame for bad dubbing. _

You know i've been reading this story with my friends and we both agreed it was so good, so real i have never really read a Krillin Eighteen romance, i usually read the funny stories about eighteen struggling to be a mom but this one seems so real i like it very much

Im just telling you this becouse of the little complant you have about funimation not telling what happen after the cell saga. becouse they or at least after thr frieza saga following the japanease script more closiy. Becouse in the japaniese script to my knolige there was nothing about how 18 and krilling. You see funimation is only a dubing compeny and had no controil what the creater had over the 7 years. you see this sires is based off of manga a grphic novel by akira tyorammi{sorry for the misspeling} and he said nothing how they got together. so lets grow up all of us and stip complanig what funamtion did in seson 3. j50 sighning out

Im just telling you this becouse of the little complant you have about funimation not telling what happen after the cell saga. becouse they or at least after thr frieza saga following the japanease script more closiy. Becouse in the japaniese script to my knolige there was nothing about how 18 and krilling. You see funimation is only a dubing compeny and had no controil what the creater had over the 7 years. you see this sires is based off of manga a grphic novel by akira tyorammi{sorry for the misspeling} and he said nothing how they got together. so lets grow up all of us and stip complanig what funamtion did in seson 3. j50 sighning out

Okay, for those who want to know, I've simply changed pen names. I was formerly Phaedrus5467, and now am miamijuggler. Same person, different name. For those of you who were looking forward to more of this story, I apologize for taking so long to continue it. I took the plot down one pathway and ran into writer's block, and wasn't completely satisfied with what I already had, so I had to back up almost a chapter and a half and start from there again. However, the end result is more pleasing (at least, to me), and I hope you enjoy. I will post more as soon as it's ready.

THE END. The end? what do you mean the end? come on please make another chapter! Now that Im through throwing a temper tantrum. I would like to say that your story is very orginal and very good. NOW GOT DAMN IT. PLEASE MAKE JUST ONE MORE CHAPTER?

VABL14677_with_a_new_number - THAT'S IT? COME ON DUDE, YOU GOTTA CONTINUE! THAT DOES NOT FEEL THE GAP AT ALL! CAN'T YOU WRITE SOME D*MN MORE? WHAT ABOUT WHEN THEY MARRY? AND HAVE THEIR WEIRD LOOKIN' KID? COME ON, THAT FIC DIDN'T FEEL A 7 YEAR PERIOD AT ALL! D*MN IT! AAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHH! CURSE YOU RANMA!

Veggie_Bulmaburger167 - Nice fic. Forget her there. It needs a sequel though. For the rest of their years.

Pretty good chapter. Interesting to introduce her to the Z gang, though why they were all there was a little confusing.

my only problem is the ending. Its fine for a chapter, but extremely out of the blue to end the entire fic. Chapter Five had a good fic ending, but now that you wrote chapter 6, you have to make a new ending cause now I'm interested.

otherwise, good fic. keep it up

-SSJ Easter Bunny