This was really good, but sad. I liked your take on the Captain's psychosis. It's an ever relevant question xD

Well-written and pretty cool. Thanks for the read!

Interesting, I like it. :)

I don't know if the way you've punctuated dialogue is how dialogue is punctuated in your native tongue. It is, however, not the way dialogue is punctuated in English, which makes the text rather hard to read. As a rule of thumb, in dialogue, there is no punctuation after the closing quotation mark. So all those commas you wrote there can be dropped.

I suggested you google a guide on punctuating dialogue, or find a native speaker to help you sort out the punctuation (a beta reader).

Readers often don't continue reading a story if the punctuation makes their head spin. Which is too bad, because the summary to this story sounded interesting.