I love your exploration of the addiction to demon blood. God, poor Sam - I nearly wept for him when he realized he was experiencing withdrawal, and you do an amazing job of depicting his dread over what Dean will feel and do once he finds out...

Just awesome, again you gave us what the show failed to. You got perfectly the conflict in Sam with the demon blood addiction and his morphing nightmares amplified that. Loved too that Dean put aside his suspicion to take care of his little brother, which I feel is his default mode whatever is going on between them!

I really liked the dream with Sam and and Jess at the beginnin, it was so beautiful. This was really good and you did a fantastic job with the nightmare and capturing the inner struggle Sam was facing with the whole demon goods thing. I always wished the show has shown us what Sam went through better especially while Dean was in hell because it would have explained it better for us and made Sam seem like less of a monster...great piece you are a talented writer!

Just caught this and loved it. Great exploration of what was going on with Sam - well done! Thanks for writing. :)

Perfect. :)

This is criminally late, but I just discovered this wonderful piece. Jump The Shark was sadly lacking in giving us any resolution on Sam between Dean's rescue and Adam's funeral. I mean, laying towels on his arms and saying "keep pressure on this" is woefully inadequate. Thanks for exploring not only the physical side of Sam's injuries, but the psychological side and the definite addiction he was dealing with. This felt so real, I could have sworn it was part of the episode. Thanks so much for this. You're a truly gifted writer.

Congratulations! You have been recced at spn_littlebro on LiveJournal.

You can find the rec in the Injury Theme post here:

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Brilliant filler for Jump The Shark! I always knew there was more to come with that episode, it left things hanging on the edge. I'm glad you've chosen to write this. Spot on! Thank you.

Medusa

hey cool story this was such an angsty time for Sam in the series and you really pulled that off here thank you!

Ani

YAY! I'm catching up on some of my "to-be-read" pile! This was utterly fantastic. Much deeper than my own Summer of Sam Love entry. I adored all the smashing hurt/comfort and Dean finding the piece of glass in his own back. Also, the image of him hurrying from the shower (almost slipping and falling) on his way to get to Sammy was outstanding.

Oh how I love the way you disect a story. I've SO missed your writing.

This is a beautiful tag filled with all the things I love: hurt/comfort, resolution, insight. Just a wonderful potpourri, as always!

Keep writing!

:D

Caroline

Hey, that was cool

See you around

Rosetta

This was a hard-hitting, honest and compelling read – I just ate it up!

You know by now that I have a massive soft spot for Sam/Jess scenes and this was a gem of one. The star gazing and the easy conversation, how I wish we could see something like this on screen. I just love your portrayal of Jess; playful, quick-witted and smart and she studies for her dates? I mean that is just adorable! You seamlessly allowed Sam's memory to slowly slide into a nightmare that traps him and it was wonderfully done.

You did a great job with Dean here. His introspection regarding Adam really worked for me, it felt like he'd given the situation more thought and it felt true to his character. His care giving was as thoughtful and caring as ever and I liked how he talked to Sam out loud, soothing his own worries more than for Sam's benefit. Lovely touch.

Sam's nightmare sequences were expertly put together. Character's morphing and appearing, all intermingled with the blood addition and guilt and fear of not sharing it with Dean. You really explored this in more depth, offering us a greater insight into Sam's turmoil during this time-line.

JTS has always irked me and I can't thank you enough for giving us not one but two missing scene fics. I know they have constraints while filming and such time leaps don't usually bother me – after all they often pull them off. But after that attack I just can't see how Sam could have been up and active so quickly. And you really mended that for me, so thank you.

You nailed the ending because he may not want to admit it but Sam is in over his over and that denial is exactly why he is an addict. It was subtly done but it fit so perfectly with Sam's mind set at this point in time. This is a wonderfully written exploration into Sam's addiction and in my book the perfect excuse for a little h/c! Thanks for the entertaining read. Take care, Abbi

I think you did a fabulous job of conveying Sam's conflicted motivation for his demon blood addiction. It was one of those things that started out as the wrong thing for the right reasons and morphed into addiction and desire from there. Trouble was, he held so tight to his "right reasons" he lost track of how far he'd gone as he traded them in (at least in part) for new reasons.

The fact he was justifying the blood by using Eva's flip-switching rationale, something that would have had him cringing and fearful of what he was turning into only two short years previously, speaks volumes.

And I liked that you gave us a glimpse into what no doubt went on behind the scenes. Dean, putting aside suspicion, and hurt, and doubt to play the role he was born to - that of an awesome big brother.

When the chips are down, really down, family wins out.

And that's what made your fic, and the show, so wonderful.

Nicely captured, Sculls.

Sculls!

I really like how you've retconned S5 canon here with the references to Brady and him introducing Sam to Jess. I thought the opening section to this was really lovely and Sam filled with such hope for his future with her… she studies for his dates was great. AND THEN IT TURNS OUT TO BE A DREAM? THAT BECOMES A NIGHTMARE? Bad, bad girl! But such is the life of Sam Winchester and God knows I shouldn't have allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security by your duplicitous self.

Dontcha just hate how Show grievously injures the boys and we never get the comfort? I mean, Sam bled a heck of a lot even if he is a big guy. He should at the very least have been woozy. And nice as well to see some reference to what they actually said to Sam about his blood – which, given his fears about what he might be because of that blood, must have been pretty disturbing.

And poor Sam: wanting to protect Dean but at the same time: "a part of him loved the control it gave him in a life that routinely spun off the track. With the blood, when it came to all the supernatural crap they dealt with, he was the one throwing punches instead of playing the punching bag…" Very key, and your end line is a killer.

Something like this would have been so welcome in S4: something that showed us how Sam was being pulled in so many directions. In lieu of that, it's nice to get the payback from the ep in this fic, and I love how you have Dean talking out loud since it's so obviously a tactic to comfort himself and kid himself all is/will be well… and how you address Dean's own horror at killing a manifestation of his half brother and then finding Adam's body.

And this: "Dean, now dressed in t-shirt and boxers…" I thank you for that image! :-D

xKate