|Reviews for everyone pulls away from you|
| Oblivion Hyorinmaru 11/26/10 . chapter 3
:D I Do Indeed Like This
| DarkPeony 10/25/10 . chapter 2
2, I understand where we all get the concept of "Him/her" versus "This/that" as being cute and funny. But if you read the book sometime, the story isn't compiled in Scott Pilgrim vs The World. That was just the movie. There's:
The Infinite (Something)
Gets It Together
Precious Little Life
It doesn't have to be VS all of the time. Be more creative with certain titles.
Apart from my personal nitpickings and serious grammar issues, this story is actually decently-written. Forgive my bias against OCs.
| DarkPeony 10/25/10 . chapter 1
Please. Please. Don't let the Scott Pilgrim section become the TDK section - 100 different stories with summaries of "my OC/mycharacter/I get put into Scott Pilgrim/two characters who hate each other love each other because that's creative/etc". If this is your first story or not, I follow this as a rule of thumb - stories inventing "new characters" that are "not canon" cycles others to make crappier and crappier versions. The title, Vs Herself, and the name Mary, OMG, does not provoke any confidence in this story as well.
I really apologize that your first review isn't "OMG THIS STORY IS SO GOOD" and stroking your ego saying you made no spelling or grammar mistakes like a lot of other ones with less potential are. I would hate the feeling of having my first review be negative unless I really wrote a piece of garbage without looking it over, or if I put all my heart into something over a long and extensive writing process and still got knocked. But you've made this look like you did it easily.
Your presentation is just flat-line here to be honest. Scott Pilgrim isn't the lame story about how Ramona struggled through high school and endured peer pressure to get through her junior year or had sex with (insert my clever OC here) before moving onto Scott, or about how Scott (With clever OC here) dealt with problems in middle school by being emo and quiet. It was all a story of fighting, action, romance, awesomeness, getting over things, and real deep issues. Not a teenage girl's quest for love (sort of) or like something that belongs in the TDK section about how [unlikely CANON character here] fixed things alongside (non-canon OCs here). Not a self quest, sort of, you know what I mean, ACTIONY. Manga-style. Anything less than the rating of AWESOME isn't doing it justice.