This was a great chapter. Loved this years TNM Halloween trick, taking all the students on a ride through the series of original books.

It was a really well thought out twist and superbly written.

Well done )...

Okay, well haven't reviewed in a while, so thought I would do so now.

The story's been fairly fluid so far, with very little errors in the way of typo's/ The narrative, has been pretty much flawless.

This chapter however, in my opinion, was way too long, and should have been split into several chapters. I began reading this one chapter this afternoon, and it's now nearly 2am in the UK, and I've only just finished.

Thats even with me skimming over bits, that either weren't overly important, or not of intrest to me.

It just got too montomous after a while, and I wanted to either to be able to bookmark it, after only partially reading, or just ditch the chapter all together.

Otherwise, good work so far, just try to keep individual chapters shorter in the future )...

Yay, I've been waiting for this all season while the Canon's have been struggling, for Harry, Ginny and Ron, to step up in the positions they were needed in.

Well written again, the odd typo here and there, but well done!

Okay I'm assuming you're American or living somewhere that tends to use American terms. However, when writing a continuation of a piece written by a Scottish writer, who's story is based in England, you need to write using the terms that fit the scene and culture of these places.

For example, the American clothing term pants, in the UK these are known as trousers. Pants in the UK, are the termation we use for underpants/knickers whatever you wish to call them.

Here it would be considered unacceptable for an uncle to be buying his eleven year old niece such items, these kinds of item are left for female relatives to purchase.

On another point that ties in with this, you're having too many proposals while still in school or just after, that just isn't the way things are done here, that only really happens if some rich or religous kid gets pregnant. It's just not in our culture. Once or twice would have been acceptable, it just been done too much now, throughout this story and the sequel.

You just need to watch the termation you're using, remember google is you're friend, if you're unsure.

Otherwise, good and enjoyable writing.

Well done...

Also on another note. Do you know you have annomous reviews disabled? This may be contributing to the lack of reviews, on some very well written pieces of penmanship!

Just a thought...

glasgowgirl

PS. Well done on another well written and enjoyable chapter...

Another few great chapters.

A few things I've liked.

It was good to see Aaron and Arianna, get there commuppence on their aunt and uncle, by evicting them, and giving them no inheritance. Which was exactl what they deserved, but it was also good, how you didn't make the twins overly bitter.

It was also a welcomed surprise, to see James being named as Prefect. I wasn't expecting that.

It's also been good to see the young couple's begining to bond more.

All in all well written and an enjoyable few chapters.

Well done!

This was a really poignant, and heart touching chapter.

It was extremly well written, especially since it is one of those really taboo subjects, than can go so badly wrong, if not prtrayed properly, and the way it was written showed Arianna and Aaron finally being able to get some closure.

You are very gifted in your writing.

An excellent chapter. Well done!

Hi,

Do you this file in a compiled word or html (or epub) file? I tried using ff downloader and it crashed it (I think because the story's so big).

I read the first bit on my iPad and would like to continue with this book.

Thanks!

Okay, going to bed now, staying up way too late reading your fic's is begining to become a habit now lol...

The plot line of the story's great, and this time consists of more drama scenes than the prequel so far, but to be honest, the goody goody TNM scenes, are begining to become a bit of goodwill overload.

I also think Lily's turning into a bit of Mary Sue, as you're potraying her, as just being to perfect in everyway. Everyone has at least some flaws, no one can be perfect...

The style of your writing is good, although there have been more errors in this installment than the prequel, but still relatively few, just the odd typo, grammar error or conflicting wording here and there.

All in all its a good story, could just do with a little more, of the WoW factor!

Anyways, I look forward to continuing tomorrow.

Well done so far!

I know writing for all of these character is difficult, but having Hermione say, "You did brilliant" is completely out of character. First, it's grammatically incorrect. Brilliant is being used as an adverb; it should be brilliantly. Secondly, Hermione is a character we know well from canon. This is not how she would speak. Her vocabulary is incredible. She would be loquacious when speaking to anyone including her son. I know this is being picky, but it really bothers me when canon characters are portrayed out of character.

I particularly enjoyed this chapter. The way you portrayed young Albus's power was very well written.

Another flawlessly written chapter.

Well done...

Well thats me done reading for the night.

I'm liking the sequel the best already, which is really surprising since, I enjoyed the prequel so much.

You're a very talented author, you're writing is almost always flawless, with just the odd minor typo here and there, but even they are few.

I love reading you're work, and you're capturing the essence of a continuation perfectly, and are supplying slightly more drama than you did in the prequel, which is a plus.

Can't wait to read more to more, you're doing an excellent job so far.

Well done...

Really enjoyed this chapter, again its very well written...

During dinner, Al would hear all about pearls, lace, and dozens of other intricate details that he hadn't noticed about Victoire's dress, but then, he was a guy. He didn't have to comprehend those details to appreciate beauty – you don't need to know how many feathers are on a phoenix to see how beautiful they were in flight.

Nice use of comparisons, in this part of the chapter!

Liked James and Arianna finally getting together properly. I've been waiting for him to start admitting his true feelings, and stop denying what was obviously there to everyone, including himself.

Flawless! Well done...

Well thats me for the night, really enjoying the sequel so far, especially now I know who everyone is. It's got a great line of narrative, for a teen based story.

Again the work so far, has been more or less flawless, the odd typo here or there, but nothing to worry about.

You're doing a great job so far, and I can't wait to come back and read more tommorrow.

It's been great reading the gangs adventures through their first year. At first I was skeptical about the idea of the gang being friends with Scorpius, but the way you've written it, it actually works really well.

Only thing is, I thought the gang would have found out by now, all the deatils why Harry's so famous among magical beings, since they've been at Hogwarts for a year. As you mentioned something about him wondering about all the stares in either the final chapter or the prequel or the first chapter of this fic.

Anyways, great job so far...

Well done!

oopsy okay, I've messed up and din't realise this was a sequel, to Hapily Ever After, so I am going to back and read that first, then come back to this story, so this probably explains why I didn't know who Nicks or Arianna and Aarons parents were. Silly Me...