I think I love you.

No, really. Crane fainting in a supermarket, the Joker's lackeys arguing over the risk of death over not bringing back purple condoms, Ivy's pure irresistibilty leading to her owning pretty much every buyable contraceptive ever, and oh, Alfred! Is there ANYTHING he can't do for Bruce?

This was wonderfully written, comedic, but realistic. You combined the comics brilliantly - I LOVED the comic details about Harley, squee!

In short, it was fab fab fab and I will never be able to see a sign for aisle 9 without laughing again!

Haha this was awesome.

Hahahaha! That was hilarious!

"People are sexing, Alfred. What would you have me use?"

"Durex, Master Wayne."

(I hope you get that.)

The first time I read this story, I was laughing hysterically over Jonathan Crane fainting in the intimate products aisle. Now I just feel bad for him. I dunno.

Crane and the old lady... Jesus... that made me laugh for like 5 years... but Alfred... that was hilarious although i didn't really *want* to think about Alfred and condoms... XD this was hilarious!

"Those say extra-sensitive. If you bring him something that says extra-sensitive, he's gonna blow your head off."

That was my favourite line :P

Henchmen buying the Joker condoms. Made my day.

And it made a weird kind of sense to me that they'd be purple. As I read it I was like well of course they'd be...wow. Apparently I know that already somehow.

:)

Awesome fic.

Love Taluliaka.

I effing love Alfred. Awesome story. Well done. ;)_

This was freaking genius lol I loved it! Especially Jonny's scene (of course he'd be my favorite!). Awesome job, and happy 2-year writing anniversary! (Even though this is extremely late!)

Remember in another review when I said Buffy was the only thing that could distract me completely? Well, I was wrong, which I actually realized later that night. The words "for the life of me" or something similar remind me of my favorite song, "The Freshman" by The Verve Pipe. Completely distracting.

Anyway. This chapter made me laugh so hard, my granny asked me if I was all right. She wasn't even in the same room as me. Hm. Oh well. I think this has become my favorite of your one shots, and the first two parts of it, along with the Joker sending his boys out, were my favorite parts.

And I was half way into this when I realized that now that I've read all that you've currently published, I have no idea what to do with myself.

Good god! I can't beleive how much of a kick I got out of this! Just what I needed after a stressful day of college and 4 month old neediness. Whew! This had me laughing SO hard. I'm so ashamed of myself, that I let school and children who live in my house but arent mine get in the way of enjoying your fics! Its been so long since I've been able to get on fanfiction...so sad! But I guess were all busy these days. Something about the content of this one shot was perfect enought to lift my weary mood. Probably the fact that Jonathan's reaction is quite similar to mine when I come across that section of any store. It screams taboo. I'm so glad that I'm not male lol, seriously, I bet they get old hags throwing them killing looks whenever they stray to that forbidden place. As for Harley and the Joker, well, the fun never ends with those two does it? I love that you respect her character, most people are very unforgiving of her...she's quite central to the Joker's character. Nygma, I love him, always with those riddles. haha, I like the look that you give us into the live's of the Jokers henchmen, all thier frustration at the joker's unpredictability. Its a nice touch. All in all, this is a great one shot and it seriosuly made my day so much better, I was constantly on the verge of laughter all day and I couldnt stop thinking of the obsurdities that buying condoms carries along with it. Since I've been so long from my reading, I've decided to try find the time to reread your fictions :] hopefully it works out! Your stories are my absolute favorites!

Heh, this is great. I’m thinking Eddie is even happier with that course of events. Although the idea of two people being able to ask each other riddles throughout a whole night scares me.

I feel for Crane. No one would have been able to stand up to the attack of the vicious old lady.

And Ivy scares me. Seriously. There is a line mankind was never supposed to cross.

Alfred and condoms are not a combination I ever want to contemplate again.

O_0

*BURSTS OUT LAUGING AND ROLLS AROUND ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING*

Oh that is so funny...

Poor things...I love how all of them either saw condom buying as an unfortuntate nessicaty, or a being prepared thing.

So. So glad my drink was on the desk when I read this. The moment it was revealed what he was in the aisle for I nearly choked. XD

Should have been obvious really; but I was expecting something along the lines of pads or tampons for some odd reason...but that's not important because the reveal was so perfect and I actually think Thomas would have loved to hear that conversation...heh.

And that it just got better from there. His panic attack was fantastic. XD Especially with his poor poor luck. *snuggles him*

And then we of course get to Joker & Harley. That was just fun. XD And nice to see them semi-happy and not all...crazy for once. So...cute cute cute.

...and Riddler totally had a reaction anyway despite how his evening turned out. You know it

Though the Henchies arguing over the condom box might have out done the two above (Johnny's still winning by default...). Hee hee. Ballard gets lots of love.

Loved Isley being all clinical and factual about it. Just another day at work for her...

Psh. *more chuckles* Alfred wins.

I laughed.

I was really confused for a lot of it, but I totally laughed. Definitely a worthwhile read and as always, brilliantly written!

So, what did we learn today from this fic? The only two people in all of Gotham who don't have conniption fits over condoms: Alfred and the Joker. I guess Ivy's okay about it, except she's waaay over-prepared and that kind of frightens me. Although I bet she gets a TON of lovin' when she wants it.

Anyway, this fic is hilarious. It's an uncomfortable kind of hilarious, but it's still funny as hell. That evil old lady and her grandkid prowling around, that's just every man's worst nightmare. I mean, Jesus, poor Jonathan! Poor, poor, poor bloke. He can't even have sexy-time without sustaining injuries.

But the Joker, he's wonderful. I suppose he would find condoms the funniest thing on Earth. Probably because they make everyone else so uncomfortable. Making others squirm probably makes his day. Purple condoms. Wow. I bet they make them, and I kind of have to repress the urge to look for pictures.

Anyway, this is a wonderful 2nd Anniversary fic. You do this fandom a great service with your fics, and this one's a great addition.