Hell!

First off - I've always liked the Azkaban Harry fics and yours has a good idea in it but you need to do some serious revisions because the plot holes are big enough to swallow a semi!

To begin with- how old was Harry when he was sentenced to Azkaban? You say he's 36, but you were never clear if he's done 14 or 5 years in that cell. Also his sentance - in one place you mention 30 years, then say he served 14 then describe 5 years of hell? Then you mentions the Dementors dragging him away to 15 years?It's confising as hell.

Then again he says he suffered the Dementors every day but from the books we know that the Animagus form negates some of their effects and that Harry has many such forms to choose from as to lessen his suffering, especially if he's innocent.

Also if he was freely proficient in wandless magic while in Azkaban(you have not mentioned anything to oppose this) I would think he would find ways to find himself more food - a starving person , believe me, would do almost anything to feed himself. And as he could leve his cell he would most probably be able to sneak some more food from the other Death Eater prisoners - whom he should hate in his gut. Which brings me to the point of Malfoy - who was part of the torture and death of his beast friend and his parents. Its completely implausible that he should give him his meagre breakfast for any reason, unless it was poisoned of course.

Then again his escape - it makes no sense for him to give his food to Malfoy, again, as you clearly mention they are both on the verge of starvation - he would need the strength to fly all the way to shore in harsh northern seas.

We continue onto Hogwards. Where he not so discretely , in a common , unwarded corridor, reveals enough of his identity for it to be dangerous when meeting Albus. We go on to the ridiculous idea that Dumbledore would have him be 'mean' to his students - harsh - yes, but mean? Its useless and much more dangerous as the students would be much more motivated to belive the worst of him and betray anything they think suspicious of him if they hate him.

Also he gave his students enough clues to put him in Harry Potter's class or at least in Hogwarts at the same time as Harry Potter. Which if not a clue onto itself could lead the more curious student to ask inconvenient questions which will show that Henry Evans does not exist in the Hagwarts register ( you have not mentioned any sort of cover story for his new identity, also a hole in your plot as the Ministry would surely check the new DADA Professors who so conveniently appears just after Harry Potter escapes Azcaban and is hired immediatelly - the Headmaster sacking the previous Professor for no concrete reason when he'd kept him on for three years?).

Also the structure of his class was completely ineffectual in teaching anything and was in fact the opposite - the students were not given any instruction.

I can probably think of some more points but I'll stop here.

Again - think about revising this story. In its current state its enormously irritating to read.

Cheers,

Lap aka Nocens

You should try and finish it. Just write another chapter where harry defeats voldy and marrys luna lovegood and boom! The books done!

Please finish it!

Em

Several times in the chapter it is said that Harry had been on Azkaban for 14 or 5 years. Which is it? If you have a moment, please fix this glaring error in your plot or provide an explanation for the different years. .

This is insanely good! I haven't read many Azkaban stories where Harry doesn't get mad at the world, or where people know of his innocence. I hope you had a great time in the US, and that you update soon. Can't wait to see the Dork Pork get his butt kicked :)

Well, it's a second story I read about insane-childish-innocent Harry breaking out of the jail with the Dementors guarding it (in the first story, Flamel helped Harry to break out, and Harry played outlandish humiliating pranks on the whole Britain, terrorising Death Eaters and driving Aurors crazy; there was also another story where insane-not-so-innocent Harry-Diablo got out of the jail guarded by the Dementors by escaping to another, very different universe). The most interesting hole in the plot: why isn't Voldemort collecting as much information as possible about the new DADA teacher? By looking into Hogwarts records he would have seen that the only Evans student here was Lily Evans, mother of Harry Potter; by listening to students he would know that Henry Evans was a Gryffindor, just like Harry Potter; Henry Evans uses exlusively wand-less magic, as expected from a person who spent years without a wand; Henry Evans has a snake with him; Henry Evans dislikes Draco Malfoy strongly; Hermione Granger, friend of Henry Evans, sometimes says something similar to "Har...Henry". By this time, Voldemort would already have known that Henry Evans and Harry Potter are the same person.

By the way, two cells in the jail are expected to be freed by Seamus. I hope that instead of killing two people he will help with freeing Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy. The only problem is: how will Henry Evans or Albus Dumbledore get to know about Seamus's task before he does what was asked of him? Well, it seems that the alert is done in the most loud way: Severus Snape, under influence of his promise to Albus Dumbledore to hold on and live, buys temporary postponement of his death by telling them he knows where Harry Potter is; after these words, Severus can either kill himself (and he promised he Albus wouldn't do it) or submit to Veritaserum (and he has to do it). I understand that Severus Snape now blames himself more than ever, and is drowning in guilt, but it would come out sooner or later that Harry Potter and Henry Evans are one and the same (in fact, wizards must be very dumb in general, if Rita Skeeter hasn't received a single tip-off letter about the matter yet), and Severus Snape has already been punished excessively for whatever he has done, when he shouldn't have been punished in the first place. If Severus Snape chose death in order to escape betraying secret of Harry Potter's location, his death would have been heavy burden on shoulders of both Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore, and I would quite hate the book.

Snape was actually a person he [Harry] could get along with very well

Congratulations.

Will Harry find out that Snape tipped the aurors off that he was at Hogwarts, and how will he react? Yes, I think Harry will find that out, but you'll have to wait for a while. As to how he will react. . . you'll just have to read.

In Severus's place, I would have told this to Harry as soon as possible. It's better to get over this right now, while you still think you deserve death for betrayal, than to wait until you become too used to the comfort of the Chamber of Secrets and too attached to life.

Well, Harry doesn't know yet, in the final chapter, and you haven't updated the story for a while. And Harry now trusts Severus. Will he view the event as Severus's betrayal of him? Or will Harry be composed enough to ask Severus for memory of the event? I hope that Harry will understand the situation and will not be angry at Severus; that, on the opposite, Harry will decrease the burden of guilt on Severus's shoulders and help him.

Why is Sirius Black evil? The only explanation for getting the position of 'Minister' is that Sirius Black is a trusted Death Eater of Voldemort. How? Well, now you tell me Sirius is just not thinking straight, that he was hoodwinked by Fudge, but it's not an excuse for Harry's godfather to treat him worse than Death Eaters. I will understand if Harry never forgives Sirius. Stupidity isn't an excuse; any relationship/friendship makes you vulnerable to the other, and it's not a good idea to be vulnerable to an idiot.

Voldemort is stupid. Killing muggleborns at their homes and allowing the Ministry to cover up some of them and modify others to look like work of Harry Potter allowed Voldemort to reach his goals while destroying reputation of his enemies. But going out into the open will exonerate Harry Potter, and by extension Albus Dumbledore (who always supported him), Severus Snape (who was rescued by Harry Potter), and the Ministry will have to fight against Voldemort (not that they are competent enough to constitute a problem). And Hogwarts is certainly more difficult to attack than Muggle homes.

Snape had never supported them.

I hope you are wrong. Please, tell me it's Polyjuice, glamours or Imperio. Please. I'm completely sure that Severus is Harry's friend.

Take a guess how many people I stunned or disarmed before you arrived here and occupied my attention.

I'm very glad that Severus Snape wasn't attacking the castle, but just taking part in the test of Hogwarts' security. My ability to trust would have been broken if Severus Snape, after everything, turned out to be a traitor.

Lucius Malfoy escaped the Dementors, recognized Severus Snape during the robbery, and hasn't returned to the Dark Lord (as far as I know, Voldemort punished him for I-don't-know-what by having him stunned and convicted). Lucius Malfoy could be Harry's ally, but it seems the escapee prefers to hide alone and take no part in the war, yet.

pfft.. you made Snape embarressed about his teeth lol please continue soon

Great story, the teeth story was brilliant

please continue

love it! I can't wait to see what happens next!

giggles the ending of this chapter was really quite beautiful. I rather like your story you've gotten better and better with each chapter as your writing style changes. Good Job!

Update soon please

Crimson

heey. This thing's been bugging me for a bit and I got turned off reading this fic a while ago because of it. Ok.. when Harry threw the bread to Malfoy's cell, how did he get it through his cell bars? I assume he had it inside his cell to begin with and I don't think it was mentioned that the dememtors left it outside the bars. So how did Harry pass the bread through his bars but it was unable to pass through malfoy's bars without being broken in half? Also, this is really nit-picky but did Harry throw the bread from inside his cell or with an arm outstretched outside? I Imagine throwing a piece (loaf?) of bread through a narrow opening while also aiming for the correct distance to be rather difficult. Oh well..

Anyway, I'm going to continue reading. It was really awesome of you to write this whole thing and to keep at it for so long. 8 years atm? Anyway, sorry you've got no way to reply. And this entire review was probably useless considering how long ago chapter 1 was posted.. Ah well, hopefully it was slightly entertaining. See you in later reviews (hopefully)!

This is GREAT! and I haven't laughed as hard as I have at that last comment in a long time XD

I just wanted to point out the typo that has been giving me trouble. You kept writing "covert" which means sneaky, like a spy. I've just realized you ment "coward" which mean scared to face things. Still like your story! I think that the characters are very interesting and can't wait to see what happens next.

A problem, Harry didn't actually enchant anything at the end of the chapter...so he can't help Thomas because there is nothing to use to call Harry. Plot hole. I still like your story though.

Hey, I thought you should know, its "Azkaban" not "Askaban". It makes you sound like you don't know what you're talking about if you incorrectly spell wizard-jargon. I like your story and will keep reading but bad spelling and plot holes bug me...like them not noticing he doesn't have a wand when performing magic...among others. If they get too big or are not addressed I will probably stop reading, not that you should care.