|Reviews for Southbound|
| The One Called Demetra 11/6/10 . chapter 1
My stream of thought as I read this: "Oh, hey, neat, someone in this archive who's marginally competent! Finally. Hm. What's all this about droplets and gravity? And the crab? Huh. Wait, this is all crab the whole time. What? Might as well finish-OH HOLY CRAP"
Very nice, though a bit overdressed. Maybe write in simpler language? I found it difficult to understand even relatively simple sentences because they were written so unnecessarily convolutedly. And I don't think I quite understood the latter half of the last paragraph, probably mostly because it is late and I'm tired and probably shouldn't be reviewing right now. Care to explain?
Kind of makes you wonder, though, when you realize it's very possible that all this talk of predestination and those many times of 'just knowing' were just products of having trodden the same path so many times.