I think that u should continue this one

I'm a fan of both boys, so this was fun to read. I think it was a little sudden for them to meet and kiss like that. I've never had a first kiss with someone in public like that... except if you count that one time when I went dancing and found out that the cutest guy in the room happened to be polyamorous. Too bad he tasted like cigarettes! Anyway, this is a very romantic and spontaneous story, but I tend to find that spontaneity occurs more often when people are alone with each other and they can release their inhibitions.

I like the idea, since I've always been a huge Toji fan. However, at times I found the description of the story too literal, or confusing. Perhaps try to take more time with your writing, seemed a bit rushed. I'm not trying to offend you or anything, just trying to help. 3

I strongly suggest that you read the rest of the series, including Sae's Story.

It looks like this was published some time ago, but if you decide to write more, or to try again at a Peach Girl fic I'll definately read it. Good luck!

dont you think theyre going a bit too...fast? i mean, didn't you say she was with Kairi? i thought you did. and i think its going too fast, having them meet in the street, and her kiss him.