I feel awfully bad for your oc character...she has my name.

's good i like the setting and the fact that you managed to put in the whole if they're awke thing is cool. i hope to see how it progresses

Hey, I liked this! Write more!

-Klaus

I know this story is over a year old, but I just found it. It's pretty good so far. You really should finish it.

Your story was really good. I think you captured the character's "essences" very well. Nice job. :)

um... okay story. You do realise that you have officialy crossed the line of a mary-sue'er, bad idea espeially with the bunch around here. Interesingly enough i don't see toni getting Trent in the end cause this is 'shipper. Yay for you. one last thing, you dont have to sound so damn snarcky in your author notes, we are only trying to help you improve your story, well most of us. There are the exceptional few who pray that people never litter this board with garbage that they like to call a story.

I'll come back when it's done. I can't get into a story that advances with such tiny steps.

I like this... :) thanx for your review for "Dear Whoever." That's ok if you want to email me or something. just so you know, that story isn't from my point of view, and it isn't about how things are with me... it's just another working of my twisted little mind. :)

so fix the error it was no big deal but i just wanted to point it out thanks for fixing it

needs to coalesce more; a stronger plot will help. characterization OK, yes, but you need to take into account that Daria, as of the closing movie,

actually did CHANGE. More social. And Jane would be in Boston at the same time.

My suggestion - write longer stuff, with several plot points. Finish then post.

Still somewhat shaky, but at least there's forward movement. Oh, and using the intro to your story to respond to your critics? Bad form. We want to read your story, not see you talk back to your critics.

Major mistake: Jane started BFAC midyear, not in the fall like Daria, because she sent her portfolio to BFAC too late for fall enrollment. (Recall the scene in the pizza place where Daria makes that deal with Jane, where she agrees to get the Sloanes to write that letter if Jane would send in her portfolio.) Therefore, she and Daria couldn't be "talking on the first day of classes." No way to fix that short of having Daria delay her own start to midyear, which would be a lame explanation at best IMHO.

Your character based on you (surprise) - Does that mean you think Daria's a poser?

Flame? I don't even see what there is to flame, this doesn't even qualify as a ficlet much less as a whole fic.

If this is meant as an intro I can't help but suspect that the following chapters will have Antonia become Daria's friend and Trent's girlfriend. And that would be neither original nor beliavable.

Concerts? Since when does playing at a pub qualify as a concert.

Where's the plot we were promised? It's not badly written, but what we have here is an introduction, not a story. I can't really review this story, because it's not there.

Daria shows up at her dorm room and does nothing. She sits down at her laptop and types nothing. Her roommate comes in and we learn very close to nothing about her. They agree to go out that night but then the story ends before they do. In other words, the story didn't happen.

If this is part one of a longer series, I'd say it has some promise, though I'll warn the author that it's very difficult to do this kind of story and keep it fresh, because stories featuring Daria getting jealous over someone else's attraction to Trent have been done to death. But maybe there will be something new here.

Itz good! Not bad i juz signed up 4 fanfiction so i don really write reviews. diz iz me firz time. my sis iz crazy about fanfictions she reads almost every RK stuff. well i g2g

bye cya

keep on wirtin