|Reviews for So the perfect day|
| JP1124 2/17/13 . chapter 1
Great piece yo enjoyed it a lot
| Krystalslazz 7/18/11 . chapter 1
Awesome story :) please write more
| DannySamLover20 12/23/10 . chapter 1
lol that was hilarious! awesome!
| Data Seeker 12/14/10 . chapter 1
Nice little one-shot. Feels a little rush, but no big deal.
The quality is very good; good narration, dialog, humor, suspense, and a touch of drama. The character portrayal is good too.
The beginning with Kim facing the morning and Ron arrives and they get clingy was pretty good.
The scenes with Ron, Kim and...Will Due attempting to stop Drakken and Shego was very good, full of depth, humor and a degree of complexity. Felt very Kim Possible.
The scene with Kim and Ron going to stop Monkey Fist was pretty good. Kind of rushed, but pretty good.
The scenes with Kim, Ron and...Will Due dealing with Duff were brilliantly slapstick, full of great interaction, dialog, complexity and detail.
The ending scene with Kim contemplating her day was good. Short, but still good.
The wholesome standards are high.
The language is clean.
Nothing is suggestively offensive.
No extreme violence or any other vile content.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
| Lady Rhetorica 11/21/10 . chapter 1
There are moments of nice, classic KP style characterization, as in the lines,
"Way to give away the plot."..."Kim Possible?" Drakken yelled surprised. "And he is still surprised," Ron said as if talking to an audience, "ladies and gentleman… Dr. Drakken."
Nicely done diagog conveying Ron's broad sarcastic wit.
Suggestion: stories are always more interesting when days are not so perfect. Could your basic plot be used ironically somehow? As in, maybe the day's going TOO perfectly for KP, who starts to get suspicious that something's wrong, which could annoy Ron (who's enjoying himself-perhaps too much, Kim surmises...and so on).
Points for cleanly written story-I always appreciate a writer who makes the time and effort to get the mechanics right so the readers can focus on the story.
| noncynic 11/15/10 . chapter 1
Very nice, good read. Not to dispute Sentinel103w, but a Balmoral is the formal version of the hat, a Tam o' Shanter is the casual version. Not sure which one Duff prefers.
| Earl Allison 11/12/10 . chapter 1
Aw, cute and light and fluffy, thanks so much for the smile on this Friday morning :)
And thanks for sharing this little slice of happiness!
Take it and run,
| Katsumara 11/11/10 . chapter 1
Fantastic job once again, Reader. Man, talking about the perfect day for real! I'm happy for Kim and Ron here for sure.
Keep up the awesome writing!
| Slipgate 11/11/10 . chapter 1
Man, this story sounds familiar... almost as if I read a draft of it...
Well, this is basically a nice happy light story. It's definitely a one-shot - there's no big over-arching thing to still follow up, nor would it be the chapter of another story since it doesn't have anything it ties into to act as the followup of.
So some would say it's not that meaty. That's true enough but you weren't figuring it to be this big huge thing. And what meat is there is tasty steak if people keep in mind that it's meant as humor/romance. :)
I wish I had more of these days more often. And hey, I wouldn't mind starting my day with someone "locking lips for a moment" with me. :)
Of the different scenes you have here, I got a kick out of how they finally, FINALLY understand how you deal with Bonnie or other school day pestering. The joke about "Who actually loses in that bet?" they made about Will Du was a real joke that two people having a great day and in love would make.
And, while I enjoy mini-golf and think I'd enjoy regular golf, I did laugh at Ron's joke where he asked about playing a game, Duff mentioned golf, and Ron replied, "or we could do that too." That is actually the sort of witty remarks Ron makes in the show that you sometimes have to stop and go wait, did he really say that? He has those clever moments that were probably meant for the older audience or parents watching with their kids. :)
Still trying to figure out why this sounds so familiar, though... I'm stumped. :)
| Sentinel103 11/11/10 . chapter 1
"Ah yer daft lassie, it's called a balmoral not a beret. That's what those snail eating Fenchies call their wee hats." Duff chocked out as he tore at his great kilt.
"And you so need to wash that thing. It's ripe enough to run a skunk off a gut pile." Ron held his nose in disgust.
| CajunBear73 11/11/10 . chapter 1
Man were they ever in the Zone in this one. LOL!
Loved how Kim and Ron handled each 'obstacle' to their joint happiness, from Bonnie to Duff, with a sidebar in dealing with Du.
Poor boy just can't win for losing, that's for sure.
| Muzzlehatch 11/11/10 . chapter 1
Good job. Along with Ron, KP defeated all the villains, including her brothers.
Congrats on two years here.
| Boris Yeltsin 11/11/10 . chapter 1
Congrats for being on here for two years.
I've golfed a few times, how bout you?
How's my other story idea coming along?