not a flame
I think you have the making of a good story. I like your ideas changechild and evil blood gryphon-mage but needs more work on your story arc mostly becuse of your geog of Valdemer.
For good maps of valdemer ect can be found in the hard backs of winds if fury (the mage wind trilogy) and all of the mage storms trilogy
Ideas to help, think about making silver a firecat and reset the story after owlflight but before the second book during the hawkbrother Survey
keep up the good work and thank you for your story

Gryphlets! laughed so hard everyone looked at me funny and i couldnt even explain!

please more with kelren and the hawkbrothers!

this was a good story and i really like it, however several problems kept bugging me.

1. rethwellen is south of valdemar and the vale is in the north for them to ever have been there they would have had to pass haven and continue south to enter it.

2. snowsong not being able to stay. while many at the colligium are gifted, many are not. snowsong could have stayed as an blue, they aren't all highborn many are poor yet intelligent students. even if he couldnt have joined that way darkwind as the tayledras envoy could have asked permission for snowsong to stay.

3. dorms: the books are pretty clear that in the heralds dorm everyone has their own room and the boys and girls dorms are seperate (no boys and girls sharing). while it isnt mentioned it seems like the healer and bardic dorms would be the same. as for the blues the highborn probably live either in mansions outside the palace gate or in the palace itself and the lowborn would have an arrangement similar to the other dorms.

4. how did the mage get into the palace area to cast the spells? there are guards at the gates who log everybody that enters and leaves the grounds, so why would anyone let that blackcloaked figure in?

5. spells: spellcasting uses power and the use would be visible to others, also anybody looking with mage sight at the coerced would probably see traces of blood magic.
this was good even with the strange bits and i would like a sequel please.

Sequel please! You know, this could be fleshed out into a novella or a full novel with enough padding. That way we would be able to see what was done to/with the naughty Blues and how Zoh's parents took his being Chosen...among other things!

it is XI

This was a wonderful story, but what was the whole PURPOSE of putting Zoharielin the story? He did absolutly nothing for the plot, although he was cute in a aww-look-at-that-cute-puppy sort of way. Anyway, Wonderful Story!

I liked all of the cat metaphors, they were simple and straight forword. This was a very informative chapter, I'm glad you wrote it. Good job!

You really like to tag on the word "thing" to anything you can, don't you? This was a very nice chapter and I'm glad your not done yet. Good Job!

As far as I remember the Blues don't HAVE a dormitory. All of the students live with parents or something. They just happen to share some classes with the other three Collegium and some, like the Artificer from the MAGE STORM TRILOGY, have a sort of meeting place in then that, this was a very good chapter.

What's all this about being in Rethwellen? k'Vala Vale is in NORTHERN Valdemar, near the Forest of Sorrows, while Rethwellan is South and a little east of Valdemar. They would have gone way out of the way to get to Rethwellan. Good story so far, other then that.

*purrs* It's ok. It's a plot important chapter, but now I want a sparkly ball of yarn!

I Love the story and just thought i would lend you some help on roman numerals

1I

2II

3I

4IV

5V

6VI

7VII

8VI

9IX

10X

11XI

12XII

13XI

14XIV

15XV

16XVI

17XVII

18XVI

19XIX

20XX...ect ect. let me know if you need more info on it

Thanks. This was the first story I ever read on I googled 'changechild' and this came up. You got me into a world of awesome fanfics. Thanks.

There are a few minor one-letter spelling errors, (i'll look for them after reading again) but I really, really like it. You have a nice writing style Very nice!
you don't mangle the (c) characters, either...good job!

that was really really good...hehe...well cya