I thought this story was really good. The Everest series is my favorite series ever and I own all of the books, I especially love the second book. Anyways, I think you should continue writing cuz you're really good.

Hey! I just read the first of these books yesterday! Found them in my basement and saw they were by one of the 39 clues authors... Anyways, you have a lot of run on sentences. Of course this story isn't officially cliché (this is the only one!:) ), but in another archive it may be. However, I don't normally like 1st person in these stories (anybody can write in them) but you in particular seem to have the skills to make it good. Keep on writing! :)