|Reviews for Bond of Partners|
| LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr 12/20/10 . chapter 4
Awesome chapter! Aw Vincent and Teal are so cute : ) Ooh I can't wait to see how the fight turns out. It was cool how you had Derrick and Alice show up to help Kai.I like how Derrick and Haley already know each other and are friends. Kai and Alice vs Grace and C.J. that's definitely gonna be a great fight X ) I can't wait to see what happens next! X D
Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! -
Don't worry senpai even if it will be short I know the next chapter will be great _
| thatguy3331 12/20/10 . chapter 4
This was a great chapter! I knew Vincent and Teal were close but I didn't know that close, it was almost touching XD. I liked how the fight started and went underway as well and I can't wait to see the rest with Vincents plan!
| Windraider 12/20/10 . chapter 4
Forgot to review, good chapter.
Looking forward to more.
I got one more character inside, you got room?
| bones 12/19/10 . chapter 3
cool! your story's describe make be impress! D
you did a good jon in this story, just continue it ;)
I'm giving you my oc, hope it can help :)
book color: turquoise
ambition: become a helpful king
a lot looks like Zofis, but this demon is a girl with straight long blonde hair. she uses hat and robe too but wear a short white dress inside. have a beautiful-looking face and explosion abilities. love to help everything that she can help.
Partner: Hideomu Eishirou
nickname: Hide, Shiro
he's a handsome boy with blonde hair, pale white
skin and gold eyes color. a kinda stubborn but so
quite and careless. he changed a bit when he met
with his demon and become careful to the
Zenn knows what Hide's order even when he's not
talking about it yet. that's what make them hard
to beat. Zenn loves to exploring and always home
late. firstly Hide didn't care about it but over time,
sometimes he worried and get angry if she go
without telling him.
appeared them as a protagonist one and the
story'll up to you
the spells is kinda similiar:
Radomu - Zenn makes an explosive blast from hand
Gigaradshirudo - Zenn makes a huge fire shield
Teoradomu - Flaming and exploding stones fall from the sky
Rond Radomu - Zenn makes a whip-like laser
Gigano Radomu - A stronger version of Radomu
Oruga Radomu - Zenn makes blast of energy that can turn into flaming dragons and lasers
Digan Teoradomu - A stronger version of Teoradomu
Geors Radomu - Zenn sends a long wave of energy across the area
Olfores Gigarad - Zenn makes a wall of black energy that follows her
Gorgon Teoradomu - Zenn makes a row of flaming spikes toward the enemy. soon after, they explode
Radomuga - Zenn fires a beam of explosive energy
Rond Radomuga - Zenn makes three longer versions of Rond Radomu
Dioga Radomuga - Zenn charges energy, then releases it in a tremendous blast
Giga Radomuga - Zenn makes a spotlight-like beam that gets bigger, and bigger
that's it, warm regards :)
| LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr 12/18/10 . chapter 3
Awesome battle! Poor Vincent he just can't stay out of trouble haha I like how Vincent and C.J. are steadily improving their teamwork as they fight. Their spells are really cool X ) I have a feeling I know who saved them but I'll be good and not say anything ; ) I can't wait to see what happens next! X D
Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _
Aw man I'm sorry to hear about your great grandma that's horrible : ( I'm lucky enough that I haven't had to go through something like that but I'm sure it's rough. I hope everything will work out for you and your cousin
As you requested here's another mamodo of mine you're probably familiar with : )
Mamodo Name: Toshiro
Spellbook Color: Sky blue
1.) Mizuteron- Toshiro fires blasts of water from his hands
2.) Mizurudo- creates a dome of water that surrounds Toshiro and his partner as a shield
3.) Mizugen- dozens of geysers shoot up water at the opponent
4.) Aisumera- Toshiro touches the ground causing it to freeze and to freeze anyone who touches it other than his partner and himself
5.) Gigano Mizumaron- Toshiro summons a large tidal wave to attack his opponent
6.) Giga Mizuaisu-Toshiro fires a blast of water that freezes anything it hits
7.) Gigano misuryu- creates a large dragon made of ice and water
8.) Mizubublo- Toshiro can capture his opponent in a large orb of water
9.) Aisubreo- Toshiro's breath freezes anything it comes into contact with
Appearance: He has straight black hair that reaches a little past his ears. Toshiro has cerulean colored eyes and slightly tanned skin. He’s 5’9 and skinny but has a well-toned figure.
Outfit: He wears an aqua blue t-shirt with a black jacket. He wears black pants with blue and white sneakers.
Personality: Toshiro is a very serious kind of guy but he’s also pretty laid back in most situations outside of battle. He has no interest in becoming the king but battles to train himself to learn how strong he is and how to become stronger. He’s very smart and doesn’t show much emotion except when it comes to his little brother. Toshiro enjoys teasing Kai and competing with him in fights or in just intellectual battles. He’ll also come out of his shell around Leo. Toshiro will actually talk to Leo and sometimes he’ll tease him too. The only time Toshiro will get mad is if someone hurts his partner or his little brother.
Partner's Name: Leon. Leo for short
History: Leo is Haley’s older brother. Because he didn’t like moving so much, his parents sent him to boarding school where he stayed for a couple of years. When he was finally tired of it, Leo left and went back home only to find his sister gone. When he found out his parents sent Haley to Japan, Leo got angry and left home. He didn’t like the idea of Haley being by herself in a different country so he got on a plane and flew to Japan. Leo wasn’t sure where to look for her but still looked for her nonetheless. One of the days he was looking Leo met Toshiro. Toshiro had just randomly come up to him and asked him what he doing. Leo said he was looking for someone to which Toshiro replied he was too. Both then found out that they were looking for their little siblings. At that moment, Toshiro’s bag began glowing and he pulled out a blue book. Leo took the book and noticed out of all the weird words he could read one. Toshiro then told him about the mamodo battle to become king and he said Leo was his bookkeeper. Leo agreed as long as Toshiro promised he’d help Leo find Haley. Toshiro promised if he’d help Toshiro find Kai. So they both agreed and became partners.
Personality: Leo is pretty similar to Toshiro. He’s very serious and doesn’t show too much emotion except regarding Haley. He’s also a very overprotective brother and he’ll get really mad at anyone who would hurt Haley. He doesn’t care about the mamodo battle or the danger he could be in. But he does care about Toshiro disappearing. Both are very good friends and Leo doesn’t want to lose his friend any time soon so he always takes good care of the book. He’s also pretty stubborn and hates to lose. Leo will never give up and always gives everything he does his all.
Appearance: Leo has dark red spiky hair, emerald green eyes, and slightly tanned skin. He’s 6ft and skinny but well built.
Clothes: Leo wears a green headband with a red dragon on it. He wears a dark green t-shirt with black jeans and grey shoes.
Other: Despite their serious attitudes, both Leo and Toshiro are very good guys. They can be very kind to those they care about but first one has to win their trust. Both are reliable and would do anything to protect a friend especially their siblings. Also Toshiro will probably grow to be protective of Haley since she’s so important to both his partner and his little brother.
| Windraider 12/17/10 . chapter 3
Hey Vstriker, I don't mean to be rude and all, but you made a mistake with Azure's spells.
Scythrias Icicalia is a spell which creates a large frozen scythe, that does frozen area of effect damage.
And secondly, Azure is easily mistaken for a girl, which is quite unlikely here. Unless CJ directly feels his body, it is unlikely that he would even know.
But regardless, I must admit that you have good battle scenes, so keep it up.
| thatguy3331 12/17/10 . chapter 3
This was a great chap as always! It's like with Vincent you see the enemy mamodo's side instead of the regular good guy's XD I can take a guess at who saved them but I'll keep quiet like u said! The only critiqe I have is that CJ is getting alot of spells so quickly, but if that's part of your plot then go right ahead!
P.S. I really hope you and your cousin can pull through your great grandma's situation, cause I know what that can be like.
| LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr 12/11/10 . chapter 2
Awesome chapter! I loved the fight it was really intense! I liked how both Kai and C.J. got new spells that helped to turn the fight in their favor. Vincent is hilarious especially when he tries to act like a bad guy when he's not completely bad. It's sweet how he's actually starting to care about C.J. though he won't admit it haha Man for awhile there I thought Haley was gonna try to attack Vincent herself that would definitely be an interesting fight lol Ooh I know who's on the TV I can't wait to see what happens next! X D
Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _
| thatguy3331 12/10/10 . chapter 2
This was a awsome update! kept me waiting but it was worth it! Vincent was hilarious in this chapter acting as the semi bad guy, and the battle was nice. I can kind of guess who he saw on the TV but I won't say anything. Keep up the good work!
| Windraider 12/10/10 . chapter 2
Vincent is too crazy for his own good.
The best way to solve craziness would be a complete ass kicking so badly he couldn't even put one single scratch on the opponent.
I can never get use to a crazy person, because it makes the story go well slightly out of...the realm of things that can be believe or not.
That said, Kai and Haley went quite well. The battle was fine and all, nothing more to be said.
Although I have to ask, what characters I have sent in so far? Because I think I mixed up my characters profile with silver when I sent him a message. I think I might have mixed it up.
Could you go check?
| Mysterious Bluerose 11/24/10 . chapter 1
Ah, I can tell this story is going to be rather amazing. :)
Apperence: Rune had long pure white that reaches to her mid-thigh. She has lavender eyes and two dark purple triangle markings underneath her right eye. Rune wears a plain dark purple t-shirt with a grey and white checkered scarf. She also wears grey skinny jeans and dark purple converse.
Personality: Rune is a rather quiet girl, talking only to her partner, Erza. She has a stoic nature, showing only few emotions. Rune is a keen observer analyzing a person or enemies moments and facial expressions to anticipate her next move.
Book Color: Lavender.
Name: Erza Rein
Apperence: Erza has long, raven hair that he keeps in a pony-tail with a red ribbon (Similar to Haji's from Blood Plus). He has dark brown eyes and an olive skin tone. He wears a modern leather jacket with white t-shirt underneath and a skinny black tie. He also wears dark blue skinny jeans with black converse.
Personality: Erza is a rather kind man, being shy and caring. He has a lack of self-confidence, but will do anything to protect Rune. Erza secretly loves Rune, but is too afraid to tell her. He suffers from an unknown illness, and has given up his treatments at the local hospital to persue Rune's dream. He has yet to tell her about his illness.
Spells: (I'm not the at creating spells, so feel free to change them.)
Airu- Rune creates a gust a wind to blow away her enemy.
Aarin- A wirlwind forms around Rune and Erza, to be used as a shield.
Airil- Her speed is accerlated.
Aaiyen- Rune creates a large gust of wind that turns into a sandstorm. It's used to confuse and escape from an enemy.
Aaitrilu- Rune's strongest spell... She gains wings, giving her the ability to fly. She can now create a large torado that she control..
I have enjoyed your story so far, and I hope you consider adding Rune and Erza. Good luck and happy writing!
| Defying.The.Silence 11/24/10 . chapter 1
Oh goodness, you have no idea how much I enjoyed this chapter! Your writing is close to flawless and the plot so far is enjoyable to read.
Human: Alexei Vlasov
Appearance: Alexei has dark brown hair that reaches to just below his eyebrows. He has dark brown eyes that are in an almond shape, and are one of his more prominent features. He has an olive skin tone that is decorated with light freckles that tease his nose and upper checks. He has a dimple on his right check that shows whenever he grins or talks. Alexei is a rather tall man, being a whole 6'8. He has more of a lean body structure, but does have notable muscles on his arms, abdomen, and legs. Similar to Kellan Lutz. :)
Personality: Alexei what you can call, a gentle giant. Many people are intimidated by his overwhelming height and tend to stay clear of him. Saffron has a love for poetry, and is always seen with a poetry book in his face. He is level-headed, calm, and can be seen as a mediator in various situations. He is not the one for violence, but will use it to protect someone he cares about. On the surface, Alexei is seen as rather kind and joyful man. But inside, he suffers from a deep depression. He has always blamed himself for the death of his family, but will never go out of his way to show what he feels inside. He hides it with his ever permanent smile.
Age: 15, she looks much younger though.
Appearence: Hana has long chocolate brown curls, that cascade down to her lower back. She has innocent cerulean eyes and always appears to have a smile across her small pink lips. Her eyes are accented with long dark lashes and her cheeks have light brown freckles. Hana appears to be a normal everyday girl, the only difference is the blue jewl that is embeded on her forehead. She is 4'8 and weighs around 90 pounds.
Personality: Hana is a rather shy girl, often blushing when attention is forced upon her. She's rather kind and sensable towards other's feelings. She often daydreams and it takes Alexei a few taps to fully get her back to reality. Hana is smart, and takes a more logical approach when fighting. She's never the one to rush into violence, nor does she really enjoy it.
Relationship: Alexei and Hana share a rather tight bond. They always seem to know what the other is thinking, and they share many of the same beliefs. They share a sort of a brother and sister relationship, Alexei being extremely protective of Hana. He hates the sight of her fighting, and Hana hates figting all together. The two of them try their best to avoid battles.
Book: Cerulean Blue
Ability: I'm the best at describing spell...so her ability is creating crystals. Her spells are strictly defensive, creating sheilds of crystals and such. You can change that up however you like. :)
| Windraider 11/22/10 . chapter 1
I'm glad ur picking up this story again.
I'll send you Azure and Adella later on.
| BetaWriter 11/22/10 . chapter 1
Woot, the V man's back! And nice starting chapter at that! Here's an OC to celebrate!
Apperence: messy White hair, brown eyes, blue hoodie (which he never takes off), baggy black pants and shoes
Personality: Serious, Uncaring, doesn't really react with other people, not very trusting, smart
Book Color: Gray-ish White
Apperence: spikey brown hair, red eyes, white vest with a blue shirt, brown pants, black shoes.
Personality: Uncaring/quite, but open, friendly, and kind to people he trusts.
Ablities: He can psychiclly know someone's personality and goals, and he can use a sword with great skill.
Shardar - Shoots out three shards
Miiruk - Places a mirror wherever Chikushou wants, multiple can be made
Sodo Miiruk - 2nd lvl Miiruk, absorbs attacks and shoots out other 2nd lvl Miiruk's
Hunta Shardar - 2nd lvl Shardar, bigger, targeting, unlimited
Waru Miiruk - Covers an area with a dome of 1st & 2nd lvl mirrors
Gigan Miiruk - 3rd lvl Miiruk, absorbs ultimate’s
Shardar Sirus - 3rd lvl Shardar, an orb that reflects attacks in any direction, breaks and unleashes shardar’s in every direction on contact, any size
Magi Miiruk - surrounds the two with four, invisible 2nd lvl mirrors
Knizenshoruu - Covers in a change-able armor of mirrors. Changes effects of spells
Deus Shardar - 4th lvl Shardar, unleashes a hail of sword shaped shards
Torazen Deus Miiruk - Traps enemy in a mirror, then launches a mirror dragon which unleashes 4th lvl Shardar's on impact (Ultimate)
Rabeaga Shardar - 5th lvl Shardar, fires from hand a beam of microscopic crystalites that both damage an opponent and make any solid a reflective surface
Shin Shardar - 6th lvl Shardar, huge crystal stalagmites cover a large radius
Shardar - gives him a sword
Miiruk - gives him a shield
Sodo Miiruk - 2nd lvl Miiruk, gives a shield and sword that reflects spells
Hunta Shardar - 2nd lvl Shardar, gives a lance that reflects spells
Waru Miiruk - creates a horse with a horn that can pierce any defence spell
Gigan Miiruk - 3rd lvl Miiruk, creates a knight, equiped with a shield and sword
Shardar Sirus - 3rd lvl Shardar, gives him a mace that can change into a flail
Magi Miiruk - same effect as regular
Knizenshoruu - undo's all effects
Deus Shardar - gives him an unlimited amount of double sided, throwing axes
Torazen Deus Miiruk - Unleashes a giant knight, with a shield and changing weapon(ex. sword, lance, axe), that crushes any enemies (Ultimate)
Rabeaga Shardar - 5th lvl shardar, creates a cannon that fires (regular) 3rd lvl shardar's
Shin Shardar - same effect as regular
| stevethemime 11/21/10 . chapter 1
Um, it's pretty good, I liked the concept of it, but you should make it tighter, more compact, without sacrificing detail, and maybe explain things about the characters past a little bit less...otherwise, pretty good except for some grammar. First off, words like "they're who's and it's all need apostrophes because the apostrophe represents the shortening of a word, and the combination of two words, or the omission of some letters. So, let us, would be let's, who's would be who is (whose is a possessive word) and yadda yadda. Also, try to go over your chapters a bit more thoroughly for any spelling mistakes or odd sentences. Good job otherwise, I enjoyed it, but try to get into a more familiar pace for yourself; you seemed...rusty in this chapter; you obviously have potential, but you need to get back into the swing of things. I have some characters who would actually be REALLY good rival\anti-hero(perhaps hero is not the right word) characters, who have some similarities to your characters, but they are very different in other ways...I'll send them and see what you think, you should spot some similarities very quickly (note, I never heard of your characters while I was making these two!)
And now, I think I speak for all of us when I say, welcome back, and as always,
Good luck, and have fun!