This kind of fics always touch me, and yours was really good. I really liked these two sentences: "Neither did I, until my spirit was broken." "Yes, because they're going to believe that their Golden Boys aren't so Golden."

And overall, I think the emotion was clear, powerful, you could feel it.

Amazing work :)

Wow, awesome last sentence. :) This is a very interesting (and a little creepy) idea - that the "Golden boys aren't so Golden". It makes me sad. D: Powerful writing though - I love how you say so much with so few words. Here's my mark for you for the comp: 9/10. Great work, keep it up!

Wow. This is very intense, Especially with the depression and suicidal ... well, I wont say moments, because it IS a suicidal fic. But you wrote it well, and I really like the paragraph where it says, Memories clouded up her mind, the thoughts of the monstrous things she had been forced to do with her once friends Harry and Ron rushing to the fore-front of her mind. Ron, slapping her round the face when she wouldn't kiss him, Harry making her do his and Ron's homework for them, Harry and Ron together, abusing her body when she wouldn't tidy their room. Tears began to flood down her face, and at that moment she made the conscious decision to end it all, to take the only way out she could think of. - Gosh, brilliant. Well done!

Yours,

Coleen

Oh wow, that was very powerful! You really /got/ the idea of severe depression and suicide, especially with some of the phrases you used, it was quite intense. Well done, an excellent fic! And thanks for doing the comp. :)

youcanreachthestars

:o

That was incredible. I'm actually lost for words.

Damn, I'm gonna have to work a lot harder on my entry to this challenge if I wanna top that... Lol

But really well done