It's about TIME you got a chapter out! I barely remembered the story! However, I want to know what happens, so get the next chapter out fast! §

Hey, I'm an author too, and I'm always looking for TP TM alternatives, I've gotten tired of them, and Pan isn't exactly my bff if you get what I'm aimin at. But I love it and can't wait for you to write a bangin sequel!

*claps* Yea for long chapters! I've been working on that too...And I still get complaints. Sigh...oh well.
Nice chapter. ^^ Now update soon! Or I will...um...do absolutly nothing because I'm lazy like that...
-Shampoo

hey, i like your story! it's sweet with a good taste in music! keep up to good work!

Loved this chapter! It was really good, and I waited a long time for it. Sorry if it took me so long to review, I'm not on as much, but that gives me more time to write upcoming chapters for my fics.
And speaking of fics, I'm FINALLY working on "Never Dying Flower"!! When, I'm done I'll mail it to you so that you can add more and then we'll put it up okay?
Much love!

Sorry I ain't review for a while, well since chapter 13. But I have been reading it, I swear!
It's so good. And I'm glad it ain't a T/P. Erm... there isn't really anyfin else to say... so
Cya later
-*-Crowsi-*-

O... Me like! ^^ I wish I could be as chipper as Bra XD... ::sigh:: Anyway, that was a great chapter n_n Hardly anyone updates anymore, so I'm glad you e-mailed me. Well, from what I saw so far... there wasn't anybody who suggested any title names for a sequel, so lemme think... ::looks at the ceiling and ponders::
Goten: What... are you doing?
Shh! You're ruin my concentration! >O
Goten: Sorry? o__o...
-_-;... ::twitch:: ... well, maybe if you're going for something sad... Don't laugh at meh, these are coming off the top of my head XD... "My Heart Is On The Ground"
Hm... I've written stories for my Creative Writing class that I'll probably never post on the Internet XD... One was called "Tears of Hatred and Sorrow" and the other was "Bound By Fate"... so if those are appealing at ALL >_>;...

hi! that was a good chapter! and all the other onez too.. sorry for not reviewing for a while!! we were... kinda off ff.net for a while, heh... but update soon!

I'M BACK!! Your story is developing very well and *gasp* LONGER CHAPTERS!! YAY! Put more out soon, or my computer might crash again... §

Aww! Kawaii!! I like. PLease continue ^-^

All right. In my writing class, all we've been doing recently is analyzing writing. ^^ So, here we go, for one chapter only (for now. I might do another when I get bored) The Pixie Whitefeather analyzing on advice for Chapter 16!!

In paragraph one, CJ states that the view is "aamazing" The problem here is, the view really hasn't been described to the reader, so we don't know if its amazing or not. Description is a very good key to writing well.

" It wasn't butterflies in her stomach, or the giggly kind of 'oh my goodness, he's my boyfriend!' middle school trash that many young girls came to at one point or another" I love this line! It describes an emotion perfectly, and one we all know and can relate too! This is great writing!

The description of the place where they land is nice. It could use some specifics though. LIke..what type of trees/flowers? how big is it? stuff like that.

The dialogue between them when they get wet is cute. CJ's true personality as she plays around with Trunks is finally revealed through the words she says. Its very good, I like. ^^

Hehe...the kiss when they're asleep. Always a good way at the end to make the audience go aw... Cute. ^^

Ok, there you go. Hm...next chapter. I bet Bra (big mouth she is) is going to let it slip to CJ what Trunks did...just as CJ is..hm, what would she do? She'd be realizing she can't get emotionally attached to Trunks and is trying to leave. This would work well if she and Trunks had just gotten home from a date! OOh ooh and Trunks should try to kiss her, but she's like "no emotional attachment!" and then she gives him the International "Don't kiss me" move ((aka, a hug)) then she runs upstairs to get her stuff to leave and Bra lets Trunks little nighttime kiss slip and BAM! Chapter ends on CJ's confusion...

Hey, you said you needed some ideas on how to get them together...Uh, well, its almost them together! ^^ Well, its an idea...

-Pixie

Oh, don't worry. You'll compare to me soon enough. The reason you don't see any badly-written stuff on mine is because its long been deleted. (^^) So I'm sure soon enough, you'll be getting reviews in the 200-300 range. hehe...or maybe not cause I've taken advanced writing classes! (Does that make me a cheater? oro?) No no no...j/k, I wrote Never Lose all up until very near the end with no formal training in writing. ^^ So it just takes time, patience, an original idea, and usually a lot of pent up emotion. (The first chap of NL was written in tears, the whole idea came from me being filled with bad emotions and I wanted to write a story to make everyone feel bad...Lucky I felt better by the end of the story, otherwise, it might have pulled a Romeo and Juliet type ending.) Anyway, just to say, give yourself a bit of time. You've already written a story better than my first works, and improving by the chapter. (Oro...does that mean you'll be better than me someday?)

Oh and nice chapter. Since the next chapter is posted, I won't bother to guess in what I think happens.

-Pixie

Okay, I actually just stumbled upon your story because the summary sounded a little too much like an old rp world I used to hang around all the time, and i was wondering, where did you get the idea for CJ's physical form, and first atire... I have a character that is all too similar, and it has kinda been giving me the creeps. To see what I mean check out Emerald Sparks. (okay, outfits are different, but my characters original was a green shirt, blue jenes and dark blue trench coat)
ps: 'm curious to see how this is going to end {and... My Trunks! ^.^()}

This is VERY good and it really interests me! I hope you update soon! And I can't wait to start 'Never Dying Flower' with you!

Kinomi Kinomama

ok, you can all call me RC (rodeo chick)
I just wanted to say, I LOVE THIS STORY! But, I am just a hopeless romantic
*swooning voice* but i just can't help it,
Also, I wouldn't mind playing a game of quiditch! With Sean, I mean I have talked to the guy on e-mail! And he is a really nice guy! Kanojo, you know who I am and if you want to hear more about Sean please call me! I really want to talk to you. Call me! The story was great,
but I NEED MORE!
Check out my stories peoples