Wow, that was an interesting read. I guess the brooding mage guy is like a staple etrian alchemist thing. Interesting characters though, and I like the main character's background. It really fleshes things out. Hmm... you're going to update this right?

Your first chapter is very well written. Some minor detail has been left out, but that may or may not be revealed in the next chapter, such as what Class Deira is, and why she chose the name of Chartis. with the promise you show as a writer, i'm sad that there's only two chapters in this story...

I love this so much! Its really good!