That was pretty good for not remembering what was said. I also love the fact that Spock puts fighting the Romulans on hold for his son

Beautifully written.

Keep up the great work.

Please update soon.

SM

continue please

The first part is good up until Nyota leaves. It's interesting and could turn into a great story. It would be nice to have a little background about how Spock and Jim ended up together and how Sonnak was born. Although I assume that will come later?

After that the story just fails utterly. You're basically recounting a section of the movie through dialogue with a mention of Sonnak and them being t'hy'la thrown in. You need to address the time skips between the characters being in Spock's room and then at Jim's "trial" and then on the ship. Also, even if you're just following along with the movie plot, you still need to elaborate and make it your own. Describe where they are and what their doing. And for god's sake don't write "Spock:..." as if this were a script and not a story.

I love it! Please continue!

Are you purposefully misspelling? Because it takes some "skill" too miss over have of the capitalization on the names...

On another note, let us hope he did not take the kid on board the ship during battle, cause that'd be beyond stupid lol

oh wow ahahha i love this just love it cannot wiat to see more please continue

Keep working on it. It's a good start.

I like stories where Jim and Spock have a child.

Your poor grammer is atrocious! You need someone to proofread your fics before you ever post. Your mistakes were so bad I couldn't even focus on the story. So please find a beta.

please continue

Next time i'm going through and correcting your gramma! Gosh! Anyway, i like it Hol! :) xx

It was a good start, but there are a few things that could do with a bit of a tweak. For example, author's notes go at the beginning or the end. If you'd like to be able to quote the movie I recommend a google search to find a copy of the movie script in the form of a transcript. If you are quoting, italicise the quotes, AN at the start to inform the reader and fill in the gaps to make the quoted text fit with your writing, while still being acknowledged. Watch out for the typos, they like to sneak in when we aren't watching. (missed caps are typos, as the shift key is rather shifty)

I know it may sound dorky, but find some time to sit down and read your story to yourself, this helps to find some errorsand give you a chance to note any that you may gloss over when reading in your head.

I look forward to reading more and watching as your skills improve.

tweets

ps. Spirk mpreg is one of my favourites